Of Chemicals and Stupidity

January 31, 2008
Mood: completely and utterly miserable

I think I finally figured out why I've been feeling so down this past week...

True, stress from various stuff could have added to the equation. But I doubt that those small irritations were enough to cause me to walk around like a zombie, wanting nothing more but to just dig my own resting spot.

No.

It's dopamine, norepinephrine and low levels of serotonin. Dopamine is the chemical usually associated with states of euphoria, cravings and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. Low levels of serotonin are often found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Hmm... this past week I have been cooking strange new recipes, cause I often found myself sitting somewhere with a strange taste in my mouth. Thankfully, all of my hare-brained recipes succeeded, so yeah. I also had trouble remembering stuff. I often forgot what I did just a few minutes prior. I've been fidgety, twitchy and just generally restless. And no matter how tired I am, I find that I have to force myself to finally sleep.

Obsessive... Can we talk about when I was NOT obsessive? I'm a stalk-- RESEARCHER. Yes, I'm a researcher. Of course it's part of my job to be obsessive.

So what am I babbling about, my dear friends? What do these three chemicals do, in layman's terms?

I think I'm falling in love.

Or perhaps I've already fallen.

I don't want to. I can't. But of course that nasty diapered dude has to show around and shoot me with his arrows. What can I do? He enjoys shooting me. I'm an easy prey.

I find that I fall in love quite easily. However, getting me to fall OUT of love is a mighty Herculean task. Maybe it's got something to do with how my kind always wear our hearts on our sleeves.

And wow. February is just around the corner.

Valentine's Day is going to be hell. But then again, it always has been hell for me.

*sigh*

Yeah, yeah. You're probably thinking, what is her problem? Why won't she just admit it to the guy? Nothing ventured, nothing gained etc and all that jazz.

I would. I siriusly would if I could. But I can't. Doing so would be akin to jumping out a 10-storey building. I will get nothing from it, except being squished to the pavement.

Oh, heartbreak my friend. You haven't visited me in so long. You're one guest that I want to welcome and yet want to murder inside my house.

Well, at least heartbreak brings my muse with it. Nepenthe, welcome.

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I found that that top part is WAY too emo.

So here's an amusing story.

This happened yesterday in Bio/Chem class. My teacher was giving this girl in my class a new password for her school account.

Teacher: Okay. Your new password is "secret". Just change it when you're in.
Girl: What?!
Teacher: Your new password is "secret". The word, "secret".
Girl: How am I supposed to remember that?!
Teacher: Remember what? Your new password is "secret". What's there to remember?
Girl: But how am I supposed to remember that?!
Teacher: It's "secret"! S-E-C-R-E-T! The word "secret!"
Girl: Oh, I'll never remember that!
Random guy: Dear GOD! Is it possible to be so stupid?!?!
Random guy 2: Yes. Yes it is.
Me: *busy hitting head on laptop*

Please note: That girl was COMPLETELY serious.