All That I'm Living For

Once again, Evanescence puts words so eloquently on things that I'd struggle to even communicate.

Enjoy:



"All That I'm Living For"

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can feel the night beginning.
Separate me from the living.
Understanding me,
After all I've seen.
Piecing every thought together,
Find the words to make me better.
If I only knew how to pull myself apart.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

I believe that dreams are sacred.
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby,
Like a reason why,
Like a play of my obsessions,
Make me understand the lesson,
So I'll find myself,
So I won't be lost again.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me,
To be the one.
I could have run forever,
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love?

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door,
My ghosts are gaining on me.

Why I Love The Daily Show

They don't know **** about tyranny!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Tea Party Tyranny
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

The whole segment is pure genius. But here's one exchange I particularly like:

Brain-dead Woman: Everything's being taken away. This is happening literally overnight. This has been going on for a long time, but I've never seen it...
John Oliver: I mean, you said "literally overnight" and then "this has been going on for a long time". You have to pick one of those.
Brain-dead Woman: No, it can happen both ways...
John Oliver: No, it can't. I mean, that's not what the word "literally" implies...
[...]
John Oliver: Which is it? Is it "literally overnight" or has it been "going on for a long time"?
Brain-dead Woman: Both. Both.
John Oliver: No. I'm saying that that is grammatically impossible.

xD

A lot of dead people, because of... us. I mean, it would be nice for that to be acknowledged today.
- John Oliver

The End of One Thing is The Start of Another

Aaaand my week-long vacation is over. Booooo! It was actually a bit longer than a week, but same difference - it flew by. Tomorrow I return to school. Back to hectic schedules and rushing to catch deadlines. But ah... C'est la vie.

Sooo... What have I done during the break?

• I sent a letter to Bean!
• Watched the OMGWTFÜBERSHOCKINGHOLYSHIT House episode, and posted a rather eloquent rant about it.
• Signed up for a laser war session with the Mensa people.
• I read two books! Veien til Jerusalem (The Way To Jerusalem) and American Psycho (fucking shocking book... I love it! I think.)
• Finished a report outline for the first book.
• Watched Kill Bill 2 and fell in love with it all over again.
  
• Fixed my screensaver (which is comprised of a bunch of artfully written quotes).
• Watched a ton of clips from The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson (I love that man)
  
• Got addicted to The Cure.
• Taught someone geometry.
  

The aforementioned addiction to The Cure ultimately led to me listening to 'One Hundred Years' after finishing American Psycho. Baaaaad decision, I tell you. The crushing feeling of despair and angst will literally knock the breath out of you. Unless you're a masochist, in which case go right ahead.

And today I made mini apple pies! Lookit them! Aren't they cute? :D

That one on the blue plate turned out differently...
I ran out of pastry for the lattice pattern. Poor thing...

So that's that. Back to the battlefield tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I'm a killer. A murdering bastard, you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.
- Bill (Kill Bill 2)

Ruminations About House, Life and Suicide

"Shit."

That was my reaction when I watched the latest episode of House.

"Shit", because it was so random... so unnecessary. "Shit", because I didn't see it coming. "Shit", because I didn't understand why it happened.

"Shit"... because it didn't have to happen.

First and foremost, I am relieved that it wasn't Wilson. Or Cuddy, for that matter. Obviously very thankful that it wasn't House. But they wouldn't do that, would they? Why would they kill off the main character of a hit TV series? Not now at least, when the ratings are so high.

Although, a tiny part of myself wouldn't have minded if it turned out to be Wilson or Cuddy. Of course, I would react violently and grieve for weeks, but hey, if you're going to kill off someone, at least make it matter. It would've been perfect as well:

Scenario A: Wilson

Wilson dies/offs himself. House is lost, attempts suicide. House sees Amber in his near-death delusion. That private detective becomes his new best friend.

Meanwhile, in the real world, thousands of fangirls cry themselves off to sleep. I know I'll be one of them.

Scenario B: Cuddy

Cuddy dies (she'll never off herself... or will she?). Wilson adopts Rachel. House attempts suicide. He meets Amber in his near-death delusion. Cameron fills in for Cuddy's job.

Meanwhile, in the real world, thousands of fanboys mourn the loss of Cuddy's cleavage. At the same time, thousands of fangirls are busy petitioning the writers to make HousexWilson *the* official pairing.

(*notice the mention of Amber in both scenarios. This is because the powers-that-be have sort of confirmed that she will be in fact, returning.... in a vision of sorts.)

-----

It would've worked, right?

The more I think about it though, the more I agree that... they did it right. No one saw this suicide coming. No one. Not even House. Not even the brilliant, omniscient House.

Isn't that pretty much what happens in the real world? More than half of suicides come totally unexpected. Family, friends and loved-ones all thought that everything was going well until the person did the deed.

And the death was pointless. It was... it totally was. It affected everyone - but it was pointless. He didn't have to die. It's the same story for every suicide. The survivors are all impacted by it; all of them wonder why they didnt' see it coming. Most of them blame themselves, and are left wondering if they could've done something to prevent it. But at the end of the day, the death was pointless.

But eh, who are we to judge?

As for me, all I can say is that the episode couldn't have come at a better time.

Damn you, House writers. Damn you all for your impeccable timing.

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
- Gandalf

[UPDATE: So the dude who did the deed... Turns out he left House to work for the White House. Can't say I blame him for that... Good luck, man!]

The Caffeine Speaks

Before you panic, this was made using pens.

I drew it. Using pens.

[Update: Because caffeine, once in your system, NEVER rests.]

Uppers and Downers

Tomorrow I have a history test.

Right now I am sipping iced coffee. And I have a whole pack of sleeping pills beside me.

My mind is informing me that this seems to be a very bad idea.

I can't see how it would go wrong, really...

But anyway... ahh, coffee. Wonderful, blessed coffee. The Elixir of Life for students everywhere.