Faux Fight Club with Updates

I have a shiny medal! First place in a kata competition, baby! w00t!

Then I hung around and watched some black belts punch each other in the face. Fun! T'was like having ringside seats to my own, personal fight club. Well, not really... just ringside seats to an ordinary fight. Mother felt queasy afterwards though... not too surprising, considering she just saw a guy get elbowed in the eye.

But anyways...

Oh, My Poor Heart update:

This country finally pulled one of the many sticks out of its arse and imported RED BULL!! YEAH!!! I've got a 4-pack sitting in the fridge - CHILLING!

Shuttle to Geekdom update:

The enemies have been defeated, and the Shuttle is safely parked in the motherland.

However, the pilot is currently sorting through some matters of the heart, and is thus incapable of traveling any further at present.

So now we wait.

I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.
- Marlene Dietrich

And The Devil Girl Fell in Love...

I am currently loving a Sinfest story arc.

In the story, a devil girl meets a nerd. An evangelist then comes along and condemns the devil girl for "tormenting" the nerd's soul, and then later castigates the nerd for "consorting with [the devil girl] of his own free will". Finally fed up, the devil girl moves to destroy the evangelist, but the nerd stops her. And then this exchange takes place:

Nerd: No! You don't want to do this!
D.G.: Yes, I do. I'm a devil girl!
Nerd: But you weren't always a devil girl.

And so she fell in love.

But of course, The Devil does not approve.

Here's the latest comic from the arc:

Ishida-sama, I sincerely apologize for any bandwidth problems I may cause by linking to this pic... But I just feel that I have to share this masterpiece with the world!*

[*Well, with my reader(s) anyway...]

Here be links to the important strips. The whole thing starts in the Expand My World arc (this one is particularly important), and then continues on:

• Aw Hell 5
• Time To Get Busy
• Reversion
• Gypsy 'nique 5
• Intellectual (this one's a whole arc. Here be part 2 and the others)
• Evil Eye 2
• Day in the Life
• Nerd Puppet (2 parts)
• He'll Never Love Me
• Convert
• Lovesick
• Stupid Stupid Stupid
• Snap Out of It
• Devil Book (2 parts)
  
• Love Poetry
• Love Letter
• Medication

The latest strip, so aptly titled "I'm Not in Love" is already posted up there.

I really hope her story ends in a happy note... because not all stories do, you know. Real life stories in particular tend to end in heartbreak.

But you weren't always a devil girl...
- Crimnee

Something Hurts

Watashi
no
kokoro
wa
itai
desu...

Childhood Memories

I was chatting with a couple of friends, and came to the realization that I did a lot of stupid things in my childhood...

Stupid, yet incredibly hilarious things.

-----

One time I used Tabasco as a makeshift lipstick... Now imagine a child going "Voilà! .... oooOOOOWWWWW!! *cries*"

Another time, my cousin and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to shave our heads. With razors. So we did, and later came running to our grandmother with bleeding heads. Good times, good times. Oh, and we poured rubbing alcohol on the wounds... cause the commercial said it was important to clean wounds...

I think I drank cologne once, because the bottle looked all pink and shiny (could that be the source of my hatred of all things pink?). To this day I'm not sure if that actually happened or if it was just a dream, or something I imagined. But I remember the taste (quite vividly), so...

I remember being fascinated by the anime Sailor Moon, so once I colored my nails black using permanent marker and danced around the living room. Not the craziest thing I've ever done, but still worth mentioning.

One time, another cousin and I were convinced that there was some buried treasure in the living room, and that our cat was the key. So we lifted the cat and blew in its arse, and went to wherever its tail pointed... Our parents later came home to the two of us trying to dig a hole.

Another time, me and the cousin from the shaving heads incident had a "water fight". We basically took some old mugs and threw water on each other. Naturally, this resulted in the breaking of said mugs, and shards of them being scattered all over the floor. I remember thinking, "Right, I better put my slippers on so I don't cut my feet." So I walked over the broken mugs to get my slippers. My feet bled.

I used to ride my bike around a cemetery... but that was probably my mum's idea.

-----

Well, that's all for now. When I remember more, I'll post them here.

Like I said, good times... good times.

Childhood is the sleep of reason.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Wanted

Where is this diapered archer? Imma cut him with one of his arrows.

Cupid. If I ever get my hands on him.

Cupid is a knavish lad, Thus to make poor females mad.
- William Shakespeare

An Open Letter to Ron Howard

I just saw Angels and Demons. And some venting is in order...
-----

Dear Mr Howard,

I must start this letter by thanking you, dear sir, from the bottom of my dark heart. Thank you for successfully mangling another otherwise exciting book. You did everything right; you snatched a few significant details away, you left out some key scenes, and totally 'revolutionized' the end! I really commend the way you tore off the spine and produced a jellyfish of a plot. You did a fantastic job of keeping the audience in the dark (no pun..) for most of the movie.

The pool scene near the start? I thought that was ingenious! That was a really subtle way of showing off Mr Tom Hank's fantastically chiseled physique. I can honestly say that I was not reminded of a blob of cheese at that point.

Another thing I must absolutely praise is how you made no mention of the villain's motives at all. Well done on that! Viewers will absolutely not think it strange that a man could do such heinous acts without any cause. Sometimes people just wake up and decide that they will do evil things that day. It happens.

I would love to go on and shower praise on every single part of your masterpiece, but I'm afraid I must stop here. You see, Mr Howard, your movie was so stunningly incredible; I simply cannot stand to think about it one more time. I'm locking the memory of your Angels and Demons in one of the dark oubliettes at the back of my mind, and there it will remain until I see fit.

By the way, I'm destroying the key.

Lots of love,
The Crazy Authoress

PS: Oh, and thank you so very much for removing my favorite scene. Because that scene was not brilliant and utterly significant and symbolic AT ALL.

Feck Big Brother If He's Watching

Day 5: Still in an insufferable state...

I bloody hate this. I really do. I'm already not feeling well (human virus, aaaaahhhh!!) and this bloody emotion just has to mess with me right now. I woke up at 3 am today. *3* AM. Just when I need sleep to help my system recover. I really hate this. I really do.

No emoticon or words can aptly explain how I feel right now, so I'll just quote my outburst from yesterday.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Interlude

Because what I'm feeling right now cannot be adequately summed up by a single verb encased in asterisks...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Nutter in The Woods

Last night, I was at a party, and it very nearly turned into a stereotypical horror movie. 'Twas fun though.

Here's what happened;

We were in a cottage in the middle of the woods, next to some old, unused mines. The festivities started at around 8pm, but the real heart-pounding fun did not start until around the stroke of midnight.

Around 11 pm, the guys thought it would be fun to go and explore the old mines. After a while, the girls started getting curious as to where the guys had gone and why they hadn't come back yet. The males did eventually return, but they kept going back outside. Due to incessant queries by the females (you do not hide shite from females), the guys then admitted the reason for their vigil outside; apparently they had seen an unknown man walk past them, past the mines and towards the woods. This got them a bit curious, as there was nothing there - no reason for anyone to go there so late in the night. But they didn't think much of it.

And then they heard a scream.

While all that was happening, myself and two friends were chatting by a window, oblivious to whatever was happening outside. Then we saw something hit the windowpane. Pretty soon it became clear that *someone was knocking on the glass and scraping a glove against it*. Our initial thought was that it was just someone we knew who was messing around with us, but it quickly became obvious that we were mistaken. All the girls were inside, and all the guys were congregated outside the entrance - situated at the other end of the cabin.

By this time it was clear to everyone that some nutter was messing around with us. Midnight saw everyone gathered around the door, looking at each other with an expression of apprehension. I'm pretty sure the word on everyone's mind at that moment was a four-letter word starting with 'F' and ending with 'uck'.

Anyway, we weren't really sure what to do yet, so we all just stood there, waiting. Then I looked out a window from across the room and saw a face. I thought, 'Reflection?', but then soon realized that it was not. Lying perpendicular to that window was a long table, so there was no way anyone could've stood there. Then the guys saw something from another window and the tension increased threefold. We locked all the windows and gathered around the now-locked entrance. The birthday girl called her parents to ask if they could stop by and check on us. Pretty much everyone was looking at each other nervously, having seen one too many horror movies in their time.

The guys were impressively quite brave. Once again they decided to stand guard outside and wait until our hostess' parents arrived. So they gave us girls explicit instructions to keep the door locked, then went outside. I then understood why boys usually die first in horror movies - they lack the ability that girls have to get scared and stay inside where it's safe! To show my support though, I gave one of them a fireplace poker.

"Don't stand there unarmed."

Even after the parentals arrived, the nutter kept on throwing stuff at the house - twigs and nuts and whatnot. There really was nothing the guys could do, as it was dark and near zero-visibility in the woods. I, however, made myself pretty useful by lecturing people on how not to die when in a horror movie. "Don't have sex," I told them, "You'll die first." True story.

At around 1am we all decided to call it a night. People went home, and the nutter was never discovered or caught. He's still there, and who knows what he'll be up to next time.

Rules to Survive a Horror Movie, #22-23: (Source Unknown)

The first woman to either lose or remove her clothing is dead meat.

The guy with the testosterone overdose is also dead meat.

It's Thursday

The week is nearly over. But my Bleach marathon remains at a standstill. In a previous post, I explained how TEES was responsible for the setback. It still is, though this time it was joined by its sometimes-friend-often-enemy, Life.

As I also mentioned last time, I was ambushed by 3 countries under TEES. I did come out of the scuffle victorious, having beaten Gymland to a pulp, outspanishing El País de la Clase de Español, and pounding the microorganisms out of Biocountry.

But oh, the old Empire was not done with me, no.

Since last week there were talks of TEES sending out its Special Forces Unit; EXAM (Evil Xtrabastardly Academic Motherf*ckers). So I dropped everything in my schedule and prepared for the assault. Today was the day they were to strike, apparently. Thankfully, my fears proved unjustified, as the only thing EXAM had for me in their arsenal was a tiny, inconsequential cherry bomb called International English.

And Life! Damn it, Life. Nearly all the time, Life's ideals clash with TEES', but this one time they managed to set their differences aside and banded together to sabotage me. It very nearly worked, Life, but it didn't. Close... but no cigar.

It's a strange world I live in, dear reader(s). As if TEES and Life - two major organizations - weren't enough, I was also visited by the demons Procra and Stinashun. They tied me up and forced me to do NOTHING for hours on end. So really, what can I do?

Bah, who cares, really? I won't have my exams until June, so I'm good.

Before I go, I'd just like to note;

Once again, this sign... *sigh*

Why do you haunt me?

Life isn't weird: it's just the people in it.

Derailment

About a week ago, I announced that I was going to return to Geekdom. So I sketched out a timeline/plan of 10+ Anime episodes per day. I followed that plan, although admittedly I had to deviate quite a few times.

Things were going well. I only had 11 episodes left. I was nearing the Geekdom border; I could see the place, could almost smell the sweet, sweet scent of the motherland. Sadly, this is where the Shuttle came to a halt. Everything will most likely be postponed until Wednesday.

The reason for the postponement? Here's a bit of history;

Since as far as its citizens could remember, Geekdom has been at war against a dark and cruel enemy, TEES. TEES stands for The Evil Empire of School, and is comprised by several different countries of varying sizes. Not much else is known about this evil empire, but one thing is certain; the battle has raged on for centuries, for TEES, for some reason, is hellbent on thwarting everything that Geekdom does.

This weekend, TEES struck again. It sent 3 countries in a covert mission to derail my plans. Yes, dear reader(s). I was ambushed by three countries under TEES; Gymland, El País de la Clase de Español, and Biocountry. I'm fighting them with everything that I've got, and I'm quite sure I'll be able to fend them off by Wednesday.

I shall come out of this battle victorious. That I promise you.

*imaginary cape flaps in the wind*

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
- Albert Einstein

An Inquiry and An Update

When is Sean Hannity getting waterboarded? Cause I have to make popcorn that day and all...

Anyway, Shuttle to Geekdom (yeah, that's the name of the operation) is going well. There have been some setbacks due to misunderstandings regarding deadlines, but nothing too drastic.

And that is really it.

Because when you're so sure you're right, you wind up acting so wrong.
- Bill Maher

Confessions Of An Abstaining Geek

Soo... I seem to be starting a lot of essays/posts/letters with that word, "so". Anyway;

Exam time is nearing, and yet I've decided that this is the right time for me to dive back into Geekdom.

You see, my dear reader(s), I have a confession to make. I am a self-professed House addict, and yet it takes me a whole bloody week to actually sit down and watch the latest episode. Sad, I know.

But what's even sadder is that I'm supposed to be an Anime addict, and yet I haven't seen a single Anime episode in ages! I've read tons of fanfiction and listened to loads of related music, but those don't really count. The reason behind this withdrawal has something to do with a word beginning with 'D' and ending with 'epression', but that's another blogpost altogether.

The point is, I have put me foot down and decided that feck it, I *am* shuttling back to Geekdom! Feck if it hurts! I will ignore the twinging sensation in my chest and just keep on chewing Pocky and chugging... Red Bull, actually... if all goes well.

As of now I am facing a rigorous schedule of 10 Bleach episodes per day until I finally catch up with the latest ones. I sincerely hope my heart does not fail on me and that I live to survive House and Cuddy shag each other (oopsie). Nevertheless, I expect to be all caught up on the 11th.

After the aforementioned Bleach marathon I shall be rewatching the entire Death Note series. That shouldn't be too hard...

...Oh who the hell am I kidding? After L's untimely croakage I'm sure I'll be once again struggling to continue!

But yes, there are a lot of series I want to rewatch anyway. Cowboy Bebop comes to mind. Perhaps I should reread Tolkien's masterpiece as well? I should do that. After exams.

In any case, I must depart now. My hasty return to Geekdom starts tomorrow.

May the heart survive.

I value your opinion. I value rejecting your opinion.

- Dr Gregory House