An Open Letter to Ron Howard

I just saw Angels and Demons. And some venting is in order...
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Dear Mr Howard,

I must start this letter by thanking you, dear sir, from the bottom of my dark heart. Thank you for successfully mangling another otherwise exciting book. You did everything right; you snatched a few significant details away, you left out some key scenes, and totally 'revolutionized' the end! I really commend the way you tore off the spine and produced a jellyfish of a plot. You did a fantastic job of keeping the audience in the dark (no pun..) for most of the movie.

The pool scene near the start? I thought that was ingenious! That was a really subtle way of showing off Mr Tom Hank's fantastically chiseled physique. I can honestly say that I was not reminded of a blob of cheese at that point.

Another thing I must absolutely praise is how you made no mention of the villain's motives at all. Well done on that! Viewers will absolutely not think it strange that a man could do such heinous acts without any cause. Sometimes people just wake up and decide that they will do evil things that day. It happens.

I would love to go on and shower praise on every single part of your masterpiece, but I'm afraid I must stop here. You see, Mr Howard, your movie was so stunningly incredible; I simply cannot stand to think about it one more time. I'm locking the memory of your Angels and Demons in one of the dark oubliettes at the back of my mind, and there it will remain until I see fit.

By the way, I'm destroying the key.

Lots of love,
The Crazy Authoress

PS: Oh, and thank you so very much for removing my favorite scene. Because that scene was not brilliant and utterly significant and symbolic AT ALL.