Mirror Images

No. No difference at all.

See, I was going to use a clever pun as a title, but it's late at night and the world is currently tilting... according to my perspective, that is. So I plan on lying down on my bed until the world decides to get its act together and stay STILL (thus ushering in the apocalypse, but that's beyond the point.)

Good night.

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise there wouldn't be religious people.
- Dr Gregory House

Of Houses, Bodies and Chickens

My latest obsession: House (TV series)

I'm currently waiting for an episode to finish loading, and I thought I'd post here to make time go faster.

Yes, House has indeed captivated me. Now I'm hooked. Addicted. Addicted like the show is Vicodin. I go through phases, see... I kind of wonder how this is going to affect me in the long run. Will I be sporting a cane in the near future? Will I be alienating people with biting, sarcastic insights and unorthodox methods [and incredible wit]? We can't be sure. Stay tuned to find out.

Dr House is my new hero. I shall be quoting him more frequently.

Aaaaanyway, as you probably didn't know, I have been away. Since the 27th. I was in Copenhagen. Or rather, I was on a cruise ship en route to Copenhagen - I was only in the city for a mere 5 hours.

But now, to the important stuff!

Whilst navigating through the streets of said city, searching for the shopping mall my mother so craved to set foot on, a banner caught me eye. "Bodies Revealed", it said. I regrettably did not get to take a picture, but the banner also had a picture of a human face - with half the skin missing, thereby exposing the muscles and other stuff underneath. It was at this point I realized what the thing was - it was an exhibit. Specifically, the controversial exhibit where they use real (preserved) human corpses as displays.

So of course, I just *had* to see it.

As I stood in line to buy my ticket, I couldn't help but ponder: I am an 18 year old recovering manic-depressive (self-diagnosed), my role models include Hannibal Lecter, I am taking a course in biology, and now I'm standing in line to see dead humans on display. Hmm... just exactly what kind of career will I have in the future?

Oh and by the way... those things up there? Those barely skim the surface of my credentials. If I listed them all here, I'm pretty sure men in white coats will come barging into my room to haul me off to the nearest psych ward. Fun!

But again, I digress.

Again, I didn't get to take pictures... mostly because it wasn't allowed. And probably because I was too excited, I brilliantly forgot to take my notepad with me. So I had to cram every bit of information in my brain to jot down later. Before you get too amazed, I merely memorized the important stuff and made a mental note to research them all later.

But did you know that on average, smoking a cigarette shaves off 3 hours and 40 minutes of your life? Or that a woman is born with all the egg cells she will ever need in her life? Or that a placenta acts as lungs for a fetus?

You'll learn all this and more from the exhibit. I strongly recommend that you go there. Here is a link to the website if you want more details. Here is another link to the other exhibits (Bodies: The Exhibition, etc)

Before I rave on about another thing, let me go on a tangent about two other things. Firstly, people are far nicer to you if you speak English to them. I don't know why; they just are.

Of course, this only works in places where English is just a second (or third) language.

Secondly - I understand Danish. I just spoke English to the staff because I didn't trust my brain to function properly at the time. But anyway, there were quotes on the walls of the exhibit. Some weren't really quotes, but rather explanations for most of the stuff. Mostly these things were written both in English and in Danish (it was, after all, in Denmark). But there was one text there that was written only in Danish. I found it quite interesting. It said something about how scientists have discovered important findings through research, and also about how much medicine has advanced in the last few years. Then the text goes on to say that in spite of this, there is still much more progress to be made. So - they encourage people to donate their bodies for the sake of medical research.

Why didn't they translate that to English too? I just found that interesting.

Now - for the second gem in Copenhagen: KFC

Denmark is the only country in Scandinavia that has KFC. I have no idea as to why. Low chicken prices? I don't know. But yes. I have not had KFC in YEARS! (This might be an exaggeration...) So understandably, I was beside myself with joy as I sat down and ate a KFC meal in a small, cramped, can-barely-be-called-a-restaurant space.

I took a picture!

Sadly, I must say this...

Sorry, KFC Copenhagen, but you fail. You're not as good as the KFCs I have tasted before. Your gravy is bland, your chicken not so juicy and yes, also bland. The only thing that didn't fail was the "original recipe" breading. Better luck next time.

On a thoroughly different note... While on board the ship, I busied myself with my Rubiks cube. To take my mind off the seasickness, which I am annoyingly very susceptible to. I did take some kind of medicine for it, but it ended up with me being all groggy and delirious... a bit more groggy and delirious than I usually am, that is.


So yeah. Rubiks cube. I was playing with it, then stopped when I saw that it had formed a pattern all too familiar to me now...

That's all for me now! Wow, this has been one long post. Ciao! I may or may not post before or after New Year. Depends on my mood.

PS: Who the hell is the "you" person I've been (sort of) referring to?? The reader? What makes me even think I have one?

...I'm not really functioning that well right now, as you can probably see.

PPS: Again with the "you" thing!!

Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can't die with it.
- Dr Gregory House

In Which I List All My Playlists

My wrists hurt.

Might have something to do with the fact that I spent the latter half of my day scrambling and unscrambling a certain cube...

But that's beside the point.

I should be sleeping now. Or at least, I should be going to bed. But I'm not. Partly because I'm not sleepy, and partly because I don't want to go to bed yet. Even though the bed is just half a meter to my right. (And here I turn my head to check if the bed is still there. Yep. Still there.)

I don't even know why I'm posting. I've got nothing to say. My day was basically comprised by these elements:
- Sleep
- Awakening
- Cooking
- TV
- Internet
- House (mostly)
- Rubiks Cube (mostly)

Nothing exciting, see?

But yeah. I thought I'd post the names of all the playlists I have (so far) created on me iTunes. I can't really fathom why I'm posting this...

MY PLAYLISTS:

Smart Playlists:

- All Japanese 126 songs
(Anime songs + J-Pop/J-Rock songs combined)

- Evanescence 29 songs
(Songs by my favorite band)

- Most Played 124 songs
(As the name implies, songs with a play count greater than 50)

- Recently Added varies every week
(Again, what the name implies)

- Remioromen 11 songs
(A Japanese J-Pop band... not my favorite, so I'm wondering why they have their own playlist...)

Regular Playlists:

- Angst Mode 56 songs
(Angsty, angsty tunes. This playlist aids me whenever I am on a quest to hurtle down towards the spiraling depths of depression.)

- Anime 97 songs
(Well, I am an anime fangirl.)

- Brother of Death 31 songs
(The playlist I listen to when I want to fall asleep. Mellow tunes.)

- Classical 97 songs
(Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Debussy, Lizst... they all converge here... and whack each other with their instruments of choice... [that sounded incredibly wrong!!])

- Complete Serenity 25 songs
(The playlist I listen to when I want to fall asleep *at once*. This contains über-relaxing, instrumental tunes. Most of which are taken from the Classical playlist.)

- Desultory 23 songs
(Desultory adj: A desultory action is done without enthusiasm and in a disorganized way; a formal word.
Hmm... methinks a new playlist name is in order. This one contains stuff that can't be placed anywhere else -- Billy Boyd interviews, bleach rants, The Raven read by John Astin...)

- Faves 59 songs
(Music I like so much)

- J-Pop + J-Rock 31 songs
(Japanese music. Need I say more?)

- Mozart: Requiem 15 songs
(Yes, I have the entirety of Mozart's funeral mass saved in my iTunes. I haven't been to a real mass for over a year now, and I plan on keeping it that way. But I do enjoy listening to this.)

- MuggleCast 3 songs
(This surprised me, really xD I thought I had deleted it! Well, apparently not, since there are still 3 mp3s here.)

- Offbeat 53 songs
(Pop music. Or pop-ish music. Jazz, Manilow, Europe... everything that's not rock or classical.)

- Opera 12 songs
(Bocelli, Pavarotti, Potts [yes, I love the dude], etc)

- OPM 15 songs
(You have Google. Look it up.)

- Rainy Night 33 songs
(Yeah... I wanted another 'mellow' playlist. One that was suitable for rainy days, as the name would suggest. Or nights.)

- Rock 151 songs
(ROCK!!!!!! \m/ -__- \m/ [I am guilty of sneaking in some songs that aren't truly rock, but feck it. My iPod, my rules.)

- Rocky Horror Picture Show 7 songs
(This is one of the few musicals that I can tolerate, akshuli. What can I say? The Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Trannsylvania managed to capture my heart... :P I don't have the whole soundtrack though D:)

- Sleepy Hollows 63 songs
(Another 'mellow' playlist... came to be before Rainy Night)

- The Dark of The Bleeding Moon 2 songs
(A Bleach musical. I don't have all the songs though...)

- The Phantom of The Opera 20 songs
(I can honestly say that this is my favorite musical. That's huge - considering I hate the genre.)

- Tranquility 30 songs
(A cross between Brother of Death and Sleepy Hollows)

- Tranquility II 18 songs
(Nearly a copy of Tranquility, but with a few minor differences. Give or take a few songs.)

- Upbeat 44 songs
(All the happy songs in my collection. As of now there are 44 songs)

- Warm and Fuzzy 69 songs
(Again another 'mellow' playlist. Came to be before Rainy Night. Now the most overplayed playlist I have.)

And yayyy that's done! I guess I could go to bed now. Toodles!!

Music is what feelings sound like.

Achievement: Unlocked

OMG!

I did it! I did it!

I solved the shiney shiney!! I solved the Rubik's cube! Through twisting and turning alone!! I did not have to resort to destroying it!!

Granted, I did it with instructions. But feck it!

Now I must depart, for I must mess up the cube again and start anew. This I shall repeat until the moves have finally etched themselves into my memory.

I bid you all a good day/night.

PS: I bloody love House.

This is my office, I'm talking, there are people here who work for me, but not listening. Explain this to me.
- Dr Gregory House

Blocks and Barbarism

I have a new enemy.

Look there. I solved it.

Granted, I was forced to resort to the barbaric way. I took the damn thing apart and put it back together again in the correct order. Hmm... Maybe I should call that the biologist's way instead... or the mechanic's way...

I shall solve you on my own, Rubik's cube. The day shall come when I can finally solve you through twisting and turning alone.

From this day on, I shall train. I shall train, study, and prove myself a formidable opponent. Your days are numbered, Rubik's cube.

“The problems of puzzles are very near the problems of life, our whole life is solving puzzles. If you are hungry, you have to find something to eat. But everyday problems are very mixed - they're not clear. The Cube's problem depends just on you. You can solve it independently. But to find happiness in life, you're not independent. That's the only big difference.”

- Erno Rubik

And When The Cheeks Hurt

I read, I wrote, I conquered.

It takes 17/22/10/4 muscles to smile (no one's really sure), and it hurts when you overdo it. xD

But I can't help it. I'm too happy. I just have to smile!! I can't stop!!

Oh my Elessar.

Main reason for this happiness? Well, it's the same one as in the Smile Explosion post. Multiplied by two. I ___ a ___. Twice. I can't give you any more details because of that aforementioned mantra, but heh - enjoy this. This is the closest thing to a clue you'll ever get from me!

Now that I have sufficiently calmed down, I can start telling the other part of this story.

*squeee* *cough*

So in my school, there's this traditional closing christmas "celebration" of sorts. Not really a celebration, more like a bunch of students performing - dancing, singing, whatever. And every year, there's a writing contest. Last year, I regretted so bitterly that I did not join, so I vowed that this year, things would change. So I joined the contest. I had previously written a horror story in 10th grade, so I took that, edited, and entered the competition.

And I won. 2nd place. Mwahahahaha. Prize: A Norli (bookstore) gift card worth 300 NOK.

Oh yes, mommy is indeed very pleased.

Particularly because later on, I was smothered with hugs from people I love. And also received various congratulatory remarks. :D

Now I must go book shopping tomorrow! Ha!

Closing quote: Remarks from the jury (translated, of course, so some parts don't really make any sense xD)

About the text that won 2nd place, the jury observes:

This is a mystery story that grows stronger with every sentence. The story is very well thought-through and has several different plans of action. It switches between dream and reality, and events and details are given increased importance in the course of the story until the climax towards the end. The reader is nevertheless left with some unanswered questions, as it should be after reading a good story. Conscious language control and use of literary tools also notes that this is a writer who masters the genre well.

Changes

I can't read angst anymore.

Angsty fics. I can't read them. I can't bear reading them anymore. I can't bear watching über angsty movies anymore either.

I remember a not-so-far-off time when I actually enjoyed angsty stuff. I relished reading angsty stories; the greater the pain it instilled in me, the better. I remember reveling in that painful feeling in me heart. Bonus points if the angsty material made me bawl my eyes out.

But now I don't enjoy them anymore. I can't stand them. Nowadays I find myself searching for fluffy stories, seeking to soak myself in the warm and fuzzy feeling they provide.

Even angsty music. Bah. Back in the not-so-far-off time, I used to listen to my 'Angst Mode' playlist at least once a week. Now it's turned to a once a month affair. I find that the overplayed playlists are now the 'Warm and Fuzzy' one and the 'Upbeat' one... Sometimes 'Sleepy Hollows' and 'Faves', often 'Rock', but not Angst Mode. Not anymore.

Something has definitely changed.

My Elessar, have I really turned into a happy person?

The Sun. I blame The Sun for this.

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

A Smile Explosion

I am sitting here in the library. It's cold, my pants are wet, I think I have a fever, my arms feel dead because they've been battered and bruised by an evil volleyball.

And yet a goofy smile graces my features.

Happy, happy day. One of the, if not THE happiest day in my life.

ZOMEH! I cannot believe that really happened!!!!!!

(Post might be updated when I get home and have had the time to think. Or maybe not.)

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
- Allan K Chalmers

[UPDATE:

I'm home now. Have been for nearly 5 hours now. I think I may come down with a cold, so I'm sipping tea with lemon to make it go away. Tea... what would we do without it? I'm also taking paracetamol - both for the cold symptoms, and for me aching body - courtesy of volleyball. There's a reason for my hatred of that sport, really.

A smile appears on me face every bloody five minutes. There it goes again. *squeeeeeee*

I go super-sonic when I squee xD. I asked my friend if she wanted to hear me go super-sonic, she said no. Wise choice.

I would love to post a song to express my emotions, because in keeping with my hardcore "leave-no-evidence-behind" mantra, I can't really bring myself to write what actually happened in here...

Sadly, I have discovered that I really DON'T have any happy songs in my iTunes... Even the catchy, upbeat ones bear an underlying message of melancholia. Suits my personality well, I guess. A fine example is the song currently playing on repeat in me head - 'Amazing', by High and Mighty Color (J-Pop/-Rock band). It's so bubbly and happy and upbeat... then I checked the translation, and it turns out that the song's really about someone leaving for some "neo universe", and the person left behind says "I'm not sad, because I know you'll be reborn." Whatever that means.

Oh wait, I have happy songs. 'Everytime We Touch' by Cascada is happy, is it not? And I also have 'I Kissed A Girl' by Kate Perry, although in this case I did not kiss, and it was not a girl. I merely ____ a _____. Damn the mantra!

*squeeeeeeeeeeee*

What else do I have? On a completely unrelated note, I am listening to Mock The Week. Recommended by a friend, best show recommendation I've ever listened to. Frankie Boyle has won my heart, he really has. He's not helping with my swearing problem though. I think I've said "f*ck" a hundred times today. I shit you not.

'Monster' by The Automatics? That's happy too...
Hehe... and some various crimps from The Mighty Boosh xD
'We Will Rock You', Queen?

Nah. Screw this.

Enjoy:



Amazing~ Afureru omoi kimi wa kitto koraete
Amazing~ Kanaetai kara wasurenai yo zutto

Kimi wa dokodemo
Like I'm in the bottom of the world
Mae wo mu iteita
There's nothing of the protection
Hikari kagayaku
Even this conflict is wasting time
Yoake wo motomete mada tookute

Kibou ni tsukareta kokoro was mou nidoto sugata nakimono motome
Sora e

Amazing~ Afureru omoi kimi wa kitto koraete (You'll remember)
Amazing. Kanaetai kara wasurenai yo zutto
(You'll remember)

Nami wa shizumari
My emotion is already burst
Muon no kanata e kieteku

Tsukiyo ni ukabeta omokage mada ima mo
sugata nakimono motome
Sora e

Amazing~ Afureru omoi hitori namida wo koraete
(You'll remember)
Amazing~ Kanaetai kara wa surenai yo zutto
(You'll remember)

Believe in yourself and the present
Whatever happened you can get away
You said, so I can believe myself
This environment and this moment
Ready go! I don't wanna anymore
You have gone away to the neo universe
Like a bomb, everything is already burst
But I don't cry, cause you will rebirth

Amazing~ Itoshiki tomo yo kimi wa kaeranu tabibito
Amazing~ Deaeta koto wasurenai yo Ahh
Amazing~ Afureru omoi kimi ni sayonara tsugetemo
(You'll remember)
Amazing~ Kanaetai kara wasurenai yo umarekawaru darou
(You'll remember)

You'll remember x2
Ready go! I don't wanna anymore
You have gone away to the neo universe
Like a bomb, everything is already burst
But I don't cry, cause you will rebirth

Keith Olbermann on That Horrible Prop 8

If you've ever read my past rants, you'll know I'm a huge advocate of gay rights.

Here's a special comment by Keith Olbermann. He says it all in a way that is so beautiful - so eloquent - it nearly brought me to tears.

We can't have gay marriage 'cause marriage is sacred, it happens in the church. Marriage is sacred, it's sacred. No, it's not, not in America, not in a country that watches Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? and The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and Who Wants to Marry a Midget. Get the f*ck outta here. Shit, Michael Jackson got married, how f*cking sacred is that shit?
- Chris Rock

The Carrot is Orange

I'm eating noodles, and they're good.

It's snowing outside. Now I understand why I woke up with a headache, and why my ADD seems to be worse today -- ooh shiney!

*cough*

So yesterday... was my Karate graduation. Our kind went first, the white-belts. So we did the stuff we were supposed to do; punched and kicked and all that. And then we bowed, and it was over.

Or at least I thought it was over.

Suddenly, me sensei called me and a friend over. I thought, "oookay, what's up?"

He smiled. Then he explained. "We thought that the both of you were really good. So, we would like you to have a 'double graduation' of sorts, and try to move up to an orange belt instead." (We were supposed to graduate to yellow belt)

At this point, I was like "whoah!"

Then I protested weakly, or rather "protested" weakly. We haven't learned the moves - what are the moves? We don't know the kata - we've only seen it twice!

But he insisted anyway. And so we went for it. And as predicted, I completely messed up the Heian Shodan kata xD And I just found out today that my very own mother LOL'ed at moi when I messed up. Thanks mommah.

Long story cut terribly short - I got ze orange belt!! w00t!!! Ze orange!!! YEAH!

I'm proud.

And I think one of the main reasons for this lucky break is the fact that I ran past ze sun!!

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
- Robin Williams

On The Subject Of Swearing

Today, my English teacher called on someone for swearing in class.

Quite surprising/ hypocritical, considering that she exclaimed "Bullshit!" in response to someone's remarks about some school system.

Last week a classmate (same class) overheard me speaking soothingly to my english notebook. I believe my exact words were - "Fuck this fucking fucker!". He then proceeded to stare at me with these huge, sheep eyes and meekly inquired, "Did you just say the F word?"

I could not look at those sheep eyes. No one should look at me with the sheep eyes!! I cannot stand the innocence in them!! The sheep eyes are one of the primary reasons why I do not like children!

No to sheep eyes!! Baaaah!!

So anyway, yes, I do swear a lot. My excuse; I've been watching a lot of stand-up comedy lately... most of them Irish stand-up comedians. Yes, I hear you now. Irish comedy is not Irish comedy if the word "fuck" is not inserted in every sentence. (<--- stereotyping) Out of curiousity, I just want to find out how often I swear. I've taken some past posts and counted the number of swear words in them...


First Post Ever - nope, no swearing.

An Emo Bulletin - nope, still no swearing. But the angst levels are through the fucking roof. (Swear count in *this* post = 5)

Of Chemicals and Stupidity - STILL no swearing. Wow, I'm kinda impressed.

To Babble Or Not To Babble - FINALLY some swearing!! Shit = 1, Ass = 1... that's it? Disappointing. Swear count = 2

Late Night Musings - Damn = 1. Swear count = 1

A Rough Outline of Things - Fuck = 3 (variations). Swear count = 3. (And I was angry here! I was so angry and yet only had 3 swear words?? Wow!)

I'd love to do this forever, but I have procrastinated enough. I have Philosophy homework to do and a History test to study for. So toodles!

And for some reason, I can't find the exact George Carlin quote about swear words, and I don't really feel like scouring the net for it right now... That, and I don't really have time. xD

Anyway, he said that words themselves aren't *bad*; "Fuck" is not a bad word. What matters is the context in which you use the word.

A genius, that man. He is already sorely missed.

RANT

I am currently writing a cover letter for English class.

*Attempting* to write a cover letter.

*STRUGGLING* to write a cover letter.

[Censored by The Crazy Authoress on August 14, 2009. Purely for monetary reasons.]

Alright. I understand that this is valuable training that will help us in the future but AAARGH!!
I plan on working as a psychologist. Why the hell do I have to write a cover letter for a Marketing Assistant job???

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Things may not always go as planned and blahblah... but again - FECK IT!

A POX ON THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THIS DAMN BOOK!!

Not-So Apocalyptic Musings

So the world did not end.

As usual, my propensity to overreact got the better of me.
To that, I say "bah!"

Right now there's a song playing in me head.

"The End of The World" by The Carpenters... I don't know why.

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world,
Cause you don't love me anymore?

And I say, what? Where did that come from?
I blame the melody. Sweet, melancholic melodies always stick.

I actually have nothing to rant about. I'm just trying to kill time. I'm in class.
Something about dialects.

Sometimes I wonder what's the point of having a blog if I can't write what I really want.
But again, my strong instinct against leaving any sort of evidence behind overrides this fancy.
I think this instinct comes from years of "training". Bwahahaha.

This bloody song is still stuck in me head!

Oh look - it's snowing!
I can never concentrate when it's snowing. Or when it's raining.
There's just something so therapeutic about watching stuff fall down from the sky.
The very picture of redemption.
But I have to leave now, class is over.

Tell me, do you really think you'd go to hell for having loved?

But What If The World Does End?

She bit her lip and held back the tears that threatened to fall. She had long decided that she would not cry. No; she would show him that she was strong. She would show him that she could hold herself together.

Even though at this moment, the only thing she really wanted to do was to let go and let herself break down and cry. Let the tears fall. Let the raw emotions inside her finally come to the surface. Let him know just how much this decision was affecting her... let him see how this decision was in fact, killing her.

But no. She needed to be strong. She needed to hold her ground and keep that everlasting mask in place. It was for the best. Although what exactly this 'best' was, she didn't know. So maybe this wasn't for the best. All this was happening because circumstances decided to be cruel, and there was nothing she could do to change them.

She thought she felt her heart stop beating when her worst fears were confirmed. The decision had been finalized. He was leaving. She had lost him. In the end she couldn't bear it anymore. She had to go... go out of the room, go out of the building - she didn't care. She just had to go someplace where she wouldn't have to lie anymore, somewhere she could be alone and just let it all out.

She ran outside. Tears were streaming down her face. She was having trouble breathing - and it wasn't because of the running. It was because with every breath she took, she became more acutely aware of the jarring pain in her chest where her heart was. It was the worst pain she had ever felt in her life, and yet it was not caused by any physical wound.

With tears still streaming down her face, she eased herself into a sitting position on the grass. She hugged her knees, rested her forehead against them and sobbed freely. Only one thought echoed in her mind - She had lost him.

She raised her head and wiped away the tears with her sleeve. Maybe she was overreacting. He would be back. It wasn't like the world was going to end just because he decided to go.

But just as she thought that, something in the sky caught her eye. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve again; the tears had blurred her vision. She could see it more clearly now.

It was a gap. There was a gap in the sky.

She stood up, thoughts of her recent heartbreak temporarily banished from her mind. She stared at the oddity on the heavens above her. It was lightning shaped, and from where she was standing, she could see that the middle part was pitch-black.

She took a step closer, and realized that the chasm was actually growing.

She didn't know how long she stood there, fascinated by the strange gap above. But she was suddenly snapped out of her musings when the ground beneath her started shaking. This was followed by an ear-splitting roar; it sounded as though the earth itself let out a massive groan.

People seemed to realize that something was going on. They poured out of the same building she herself had exited earlier. They all milled around her; some were clutching at their companions, some were weeping hysterically, some were talking excitedly into their phones, and some were taking pictures. But all of them had one thing in common; their eyes were trained at the chasm in the sky.

Then the ground shook some more, and there was another groan from the earth; louder this time. The chasm above them grew larger, and bit by bit, the blue sky around it started vaporizing right before their eyes.

The people around her were panicking now. Some dropped on their hands and knees and started praying. Others stood clutching their mobile phones, relaying this current development to their loved ones. Others with much more sense ran to their cars and drove away. A futile action, it would seem. No matter where they went, the chasm would still be visible, and the darkness inside it would still be eating away at the sky.

As for her, she didn't care. She merely stood there and watched the chaos unfold in front of her. She was an island; unmovable in the midst of the sea of panicking people threatening to engulf her.

Why would she care? After all, her world had already ended even before that chasm appeared. This was just making it official.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

Of Threats and Resignation

I'm already resigned to the inevitable.

If it doesn't happen, then good. If it does happen, then dang, suck it up.
I've done what I could.
Granted, I could do more, but I'm a coward. I have no desire for glory.

But that doesn't mean I won't make your life a living hell.
You better believe it.
Every chance I get.
Be it by voodoo or by any other means.

I know you've done nothing, and you're as big a victim of the circumstances as I am, but feck it.

There is happiness for those who accept their fate.
There is glory for those who resist their fate.
- Edel

Miscalculation

Fucking A.

>_<

“The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.”
- Thomas Hardy

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
- Dennis Wholey

Of Disjointed Musings

So the animal corpse we desecrated? I thought it was chicken.

It was actually sheep.

I left the classroom feeling a bit queasy. Ugh.
Fun though.

And the math test. Deceptively easy, at first glance. I thought, "Wow, I know this!" Then I went on and actually tried to solve the problems, and realized that it would actually take more than just knowing them to solve them.

Did that make sense? I don't really care.

Yesterday I read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaleid Hosseini. Fucking A.
Brutally, horrifyingly realistic. I honestly don't know if I like it.
It's like a drink that's been mixed too strongly... I'm sure it's good, but it's too strong for me to actually decipher the taste.

My cat is clawing at my desk. Hmm...

I have a water bottle!
For a very special reason, I can't seem to bring myself to drink the last few milliliters of water in there. xD
Perhaps I should do it now. Refill it tomorrow.
If I die, then this is why.

We watched 'Tristan+Isolde' today.
I thought I would cry, but I did not. For a number of reasons.
One of which was the love-making scenes punctuating every meeting. Really now.

And a snippet of the conversation that took place between my friend and I:

Her: The Irish! They're evil!
Me: No, they're just drunk.

*sigh* the hair... perfect. *sigh*

I have a Spanish test tomorrow. I have yet to pick up the book.
Blah. Whatever. Que sera, sera.
Although there's a very huge possibility that our teacher won't be there, and we shall be free to do whatever we want to do.

This bottle looks really inviting. Should I drink now?
To drink, or not to drink: That is the question.

Hmm....

I'll drink. And I'll type my reaction here.
Already, me heart is racing.

jkhfkjawefhkjhewflkhaw (Reaction prior to drinking)
!!!! (My cat tried to reach for the bottle. I slapped her paw.)
*deep breaths*
fadhfljkawehakh (I still can't do it)
*more deep breaths*
I DID IT
I DRANK THE WATER
I DID IT!!!!
dljkafs..............................
*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Blah

I was going to sleep. I really was.

But then these ponderings. Not really worthy of posting, but too good for the trash chute of my mind.

I have a math test on Wednesday, and I'm at ease. I'm too at ease it's making me uneasy.
Why am I not nervous? Not even one bit?
The test material is hard. I should be nervous.

We're going to desecrate an animal corpse tomorrow. Dissection in Biology. W00t!!

I finished taking notes/highlighting the important parts of the last few chapters of The Kite Runner. Run-in sentence, I don't care. I'm like driving on automatic right now.

I'm very disappointed with Amir. Of his decision to give in to his fears and pray on some old make-shift rug.
Not that it helped any.
It's just... it disappoints me, and makes me sad at the same time. Sad because that same situation is unfolding right now, on several different parts of the world. People let themselves be goaded by fear, and bend over.

Think for yourselves. Be strong. Find your own light.

Bahh...

Being religious doesn't mean you're a good person. It just means you go to church.
- Jon Stewart

Join The Impact

The battle's not over yet.

Join The Impact - visit the site, and show your support!

I hope these wonderful people are granted back their rights.

Marriage should be a union between two people who are in love. Period. I don't care if your holy book says it should only be between a pig and a packet of crisps.

Love. That's all that matters.

I won't say anything more... I'll just direct everyone to this old rant.

You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.

Let it be known...

I love avocados.

They made my morning. They made my morning incredibly fantastic.

So I thank you, tiny purple fruits, from the bottom of my heart.

I thank you now, before you become transformed to nourishment my body needs.

I love love
I love being in love
I don't care what it does to me
"Inches and Failing", The Format

Late Night Inspiration

Why can't we sleep when we're in love?
Is it because reality has finally become better than our dreams?
The waking world has finally matched the splendour of dreams...
Or is it because of our thoughts?
The constant wondering about that special person.
Is he sleeping? Is he awake? Is he dreaming? What is he dreaming of?
Is he dreaming of me too?
Is he thinking about me too?
A constant drone of musings, robbing you of sleep...
Not only that; but every minor sound; every insignificant thing
Becomes a reminder of that person
A small crack on the ceiling, the color of the curtains...
Everything. It's diabolical.
Maybe it's that uncomfortable, pining feeling.
Or a feeling of anxious anticipation.
How can you lie down and close your eyes -
- when you realize that you're separated from your love -
- by 12 cruel hours?
Wouldn't you just lie awake -
- and stare at the clock -
- and will the hours away?
On rare occasions it becomes too much
And you have to get up and write it all down
Your thoughts, your musings, all your wonderings
Aided by the light from a small iPod screen
And then of course you can't go back to sleep,
Because you're writing a poem about why people in love can't sleep...

Yes We Can!

And a collective shiver ran up the whole world's spine...

A shiver of glee; of glorious anticipation.

A shiver brought on by the knowledge that something historic has taken place.

A shiver brought on by the collective shattering of several invisible walls.

The people of the United States have spoken, and oh, they have done it well.

But I wouldn't know, because I chose to sleep, instead of staying up to keep vigil over the election results.

It was a wonderful thing that greeted my sleepy eyes this morning though.

"Barack Obama: President-Elect"

[...] It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.
[...]
This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Three Haikus

I am incredibly happy. For several reasons.

Well, several reasons stemming from ONE reason.

Rather than go on a really long spiel, I shall express myself with three haikus...

Like a flower
Trapped in a long desert draught
The rains came

The sun has risen
Four days of utter darkness
Has come to an end

The sky is peaceful
For even the heavens know
The night is over

Yes, I am very happy. :)
The smiley does not do it justice.

Incoherent Musings

The first winter snow.

I'm incredibly tired, wanting nothing more than to plop down on my bed and sleep for a hundred years.
But I won't, because then I won't see you.

Despite the tiredness, I am incredibly happy.
You've turned me into the thing I hate.
I am now a happy person - I now spew rainbows and fluffy rabbits.
Damn you.

Normality and Weirdness

What is "weird"? Is it the opposite of normal?

Well then, what is "normal"? Does normal mean conforming to the society around you? Does normal mean doing whatever everyone else around you does? If so, then normal is dangerous.

Suppose you lived in an ignorant, close-minded society, and you wanted to be "normal"... do you then choose to become ignorant too?

But make no mistakes, it's entirely normal for people to want to be a part of the norm. No one wants to be an outcast. No one wants to be the lonely kid sitting in a corner, watching everyone else go by.

But sometimes you have to make a stand. Sometimes you have to go against the norm. Sometimes you have to be the "weird" kid. Sometimes it's the right thing to do.

Because if we all keep the "normal" mentality... never daring to do something out of the norm, never daring to do something extraordinary... then society will be reduced to a bunch of mindless drones. Zombies, with no brains of their own... wandering around aimlessly, shuffling awkwardly from side to side, following people who are merely following other people too.

"Normal" mentality led to witch hunts, trials and executions. "Normal" mentality led to the banishing of aboriginals from their own homes. "Normal" mentality led to racism. "Normal" mentality led to the destruction of empires... to wars, both civil and major.

"Normal" mentality has led, and is still leading, to the persecution of the "weird" - the different.

So for the sake of normality, let us all be weird.

And yes. I have a test tomorrow. Hence, the insightful blog post.

People fear what they do not understand.

Of Pride and Prejudice

Aaaand I finished watching the 1995 BBC Pride and Prejudice miniseries.

All 6 episodes... I started watching at 4:30 pm and now it's 10:10 pm.

Just allow me to say this...

Colin Firth as Mr Darcy is sooo fucking hot.
Dashing, sexy, charming, etc.

It totally did not help matters much when he started displaying the mannerisms of The Sun I've been gushing on about lately.

A friend of mine is going to pay severely for this. >_<

Jane Bennet: No, seriously, Lizzy. When did you first know you were in love with Mr. Darcy?

Elizabeth Bennet: It came on so slowly I hardly know... but I believe I must date it from the time I first saw his wonderful grounds at Pemberley.

Loot and Chocolates

So I went to an anime convention today.

So nice to see so many of my people gathered together in one tiny space, breathing into each other's necks, trying to grab the last plushie/last whatever item they're after.

I shall not be posting any pics, because I am lazy.

Booty (LOOT, okay?):

- a Domo-kun plushie
- a Konoha headband
- an Urahara keychain
- a free manga sample
- an L sticker
- dozens of pictures

...and later on...

- YYH Manga vol.15
- a Yaoi manga xD

Then when I got home, I saw that my mother had graciously purchased a box of my favorite chocolate for moi!!

Oh and she also bought me a new watch--

--but anyway - chocolate!! Tis a box of Ferrero Rocher. Truly, pure goodness, it is.

I would take a pic, but again, I'm too lazy. Do not blame me, I just spent the whole day walking around... mostly trying to chase down the cosplayers to take pictures. But bah.

I shall leave now, the chocolates need eating. :D

Incomprehensible

This is a poem I wrote back when the darkness took over and I had not yet met the sun.

Reason for posting: My blood-sugar level is quite low at the moment, and I'm currently listening to a very angsty song by Nine Inch Nails.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE

Voices come and haunt me again
The cut I made was too deep
Now the blood is starting to seep
Leaving an imprint, a dark red stain

Carmine liquid’s flow i have to restrain
Not let a single drop drop
No one can harvest my crop
What’s going on? Can’t understand my brain

Didn’t want this to go this way
A slip of the fingers
A rupture of cells
Guess some price I have to pay

Wandering blindly for some cure
A balm to soothe
Though the point is moot
Murky precipitate on my arm’s pure

The lights are on, no difference made
Unsteady pulse, unsteady steps
Vacuous, morbid, uninitiated prep
Have I done this time, sealed my own fate?

Slumped into the throne of dreams
Let out an uneasy laugh
Think I’m done, slashed too rough
Oh God, who hears my screams?

~owari~

Library Poem

My sunlight
streaming into my life
Fountain of joy
Bringer of bliss

Your visage
A gift from the gods
Bestowed unto mortals
Directly from above

The Fates are cruel
Yet incredibly kind
To make our paths meet
Makes my life worthwhile

A single glimpse
Gives a natural high
What is it with your presence
That makes me go mad?

You are my muse
You are my light
You are my beacon
In the darkness of my life

More I can say
But more I won't say
For when you are near me
Reason disappears

Heels over head I've fallen
Yet I continue to fall
This could go on forever
But I wouldn't want it to end...

The Dangers of Sexy Hair

I wanted to do this today. Oh, how I wanted to...



What I wouldn't give to have been able to do that!

FRIGGIN SEXY HAIR!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

You've turned me into an addict
You're the object of my obsession;
My unhealthy, unrequited love affair
You've turned me into an addict

- 'My Human Meth', The Crazy Authoress

Of Tests, Thoughts and Bedheads

I just drank another packet of iced coffee. I'm waiting for the effects to kick in, then I'll start reading for me history test tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm watching The Daily Show. Or at least, listening to it.

I had a math test today. Never did I think that I'd ever take another test that would make me want to cry. Screw that subject!! My mother was very gracious about it though. I talked to her about it, and she made me realize that it is a part of the whole human experience to make mistakes. I love my mother.

And this thought entered my mind a few moments ago. I realized that right at this moment, something horrible is happening to someone, somewhere else in the world. Someone could be murdering someone, or being murdered, or waking up in a puddle of blood, or being rushed to the hospital with terrible injuries.

My mind comes up with these things when I am completely tired. I should start painting them sometimes.

And today... oh Elessar... the bedhead. The BEDHEAD!! Me thinks there is no sexier hairstyle a man could have than the bedhead. Oh dear Elessar. Oh Elbereth!

I should go and start reading now.

In the '60s and '70s, people used acid to make the world look different. Now today, people take Prozac to make it look normal.

-Joe Bonewitz

A Caffeine-Induced Musing

I'm supposed to be studying for a test. But as usual, it's when I have to study that the philosophical thoughts come rushing in.

Well, that, and that I've just drank a whole can of Iced Coffee after going on for a week without caffeine... it's not really a can though, more of a rectangular plastic/paper combination sachet. Whatever.

Anyway...

If humans were immortal, we would not have any of the technological advancements we enjoy today.


That is my claim.

Quite simple really. Because human lifespans don't last for very long, the generations don't last for very long either. Each generation, although used to the current way of living, still want to surpass the previous one. So it becomes a life-goal to develop things that would make life easier/flashier/better.

Ever since the first stone tools were made, technology has only developed faster and faster. This could be because of the mentality a short lifespan has brought on. A kind of "I have a decade or so to develop this thing so I would still be alive to reap the benefits" sort of thing. That's the motivation; to achieve something before one dies. To ensure that ones offsprings would live a better life.

If humans were immortal, on the other hand... what would the motivation be?

Why would one want to study the traditional way, when one has an eternity ahead? What would be the point of developing new things if the old ones still work? I'm probably being too cynical, but think about it. Why would an immortal invent a cannon if he still has a robust sword?

Again, this could be brought upon by my negative view of immortality. I know certain people who would like to be immortal. I don't really get it. It would be hell on earth. I get bored easily, so living forever would be unbearable. Plus you'd live to see all the ones you love die - one by one, before your very eyes. I could not ever bear to witness that. Torture, I tell ye. You'd be afraid to love again after that.

And yes, you'd live to see great things - great human accomplishments and natural events. But you would also live to see great catastrophes, great human tragedies, plagues, famines, wars, the downfall of mighty civilizations. You'd see great beauty wasted by man's incosiderate actions. You'd see wasted lives, useless deaths, the early deaths of great people...

A short life is sweeter, I say.

Immortality - a fate worse than death.
- Edgar A. Shoaff

No Energy

I have 0% energy left.

But I'm happy today. Oh, glorious, glorious day.

:D

A Poem!

The Effect You Have On Me

I do not like musicals
I dislike having to dance
I despise happy people
Never even gave them a chance

But now I find I HAVE to dance
Sometimes I break out in song
There's glee in me I can't contain
It's just impossible to control

Oh, the effect you have on me...

I have become the thing I hate -
- a giggling, blushing mess
I jump around, I dance around
I sometimes do a jig

My steps have gained that hateful bounce
I practically prance around
I hug random people on the street
The world has turned around

The effect you have on me...

My life is now filled with music
It's the kind I hate too
The upbeat one - the HAPPY one
Unthinkable, yet true

Unicorns now nuzzle me
Rainbows pop out and greet me
I wave at them, I say hello
A dance! - then off I go

The. Effect. You. Have. On. Me.

Lack of Appetite

I cannot eat! D:

Or rather - I cannot eat properly!

My appetite has gone wacko! I'd be terrible hungry one moment, then suddenly lose my appetite after 2-3 bites of food. I can't be running on an empty stomach! It's maddening.

I know why I'm this way. Never thought I'd experience it, but ah well... shows how much I know.

...including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement.
- Wikipedia (where else?)

Google Redesigned

And again I must post.

StumbleUpon has always provided me with wonderful stuff.

The latest would be Google Redesigned. Tis a Firefox Add-on, and what it does is basically make your Gmail look badass!

Oh yes. Mommy is pleased. :D

Look at it!! Just look at it!! It's perfect!!

Happiness

Oh yes!

I feel like dancing~!!

Doo dee doo!!

This calls for a happy song! :D

Too bad I can't think of any happy song at the moment xD

But yeah.

Special thanks to Elessar. Hail Aragorn!!

And Buddha.

[UPDATE: Song and Quote

I don't really have bubbly-happy songs in my collection. I'm an angsty kind of person, you see.

But here's a song that always makes me want to dance.




It's not really a *happy* song... but it's the best I have! xD

And quote... hmm... quote...]

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.
-Salvador Dali

[Update 2: I read the quote again, and I just could not resist...]

Today is The Day

8:35 am

I'm in spanish class...

3 more hours...

9:35 am

A one second sighting! I'm a happy human.

Still anxious though...

2 more hours

12:01

A coffee cup on the table! A good sign!(?)

4 more minutes to the moment of truth..

I don't have butterflies in my stomach... I have fucking SNAKES eating the butterflies in mah tummy!!

12:10

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! THANK ALL THE FECKING GODS!!!

Anticipation

Someone once called me an optimist. I promptly laughed at that person's face. No, not really. I said nothing. I was too surprised, because I considered myself the exact opposite.

But now I know that I am neither an optimist or a pessimist. I am a REALIST. Although at times I prefer to lean towards the positive, as thinking positive thoughts attracts positive experiences.

Having said that...

Right at this moment, I am being very, VERY negative.

The impending doom I've been dreading... the inevitable transition... it may happen tomorrow. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in the air.

And it makes me want to cry.

I'm considering, for the first time ever... truly considering doing things that I may go to jail for.

But first, I want to cry.

I hope to the highest heavens that I'm dead wrong about this. I really do.

I'll update tomorrow. And if I come back here bawling, then it's happened.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Stay: Encore

I have memories
To keep me alive
But the soul gets parched
And needs fresh water

Just the mere thought of it
Wracks me with pain

I wish to shed tears
But I won't let them fall
Because I fear
They might make it true

Please don't ever leave
Because I need you

Stay

Please don't leave
For my happiness
Gravitates around you

You are my light
My fountain of joy
My source of bliss

I am well aware
This was only borrowed time
But I wish this time
Would go much slower

I refuse to think
Of your departure
Because I need you to stay

You are my reason
For everything good
My heart will burst of sorrow
If it's finally goodbye

But please don't ever leave
Because I need you

Croak

I am sick.

Well, ill.

Flu has struck me again. But I won't let it overpower me... at least, not until Saturday.
I really, REALLY need to be healthy on Friday.

So yeah. I'm here, my head wants to spin but my body won't allow it. I have butterflies in my stomach and they've been here since... well, since LAST MONTH. They won't go away... they won't! ;_;

But it's all good.

As of now I want nothing more than to burrow my way into my blankets, and then croak and die. But I won't do that as of yet.

I want to do a lot of things, but this horrible feeling just won't let up! Damn it!

I did watch the Extended DVDs of LoTR: The Two Towers. Awesome stuff. My head kept lolling back and forth though. And I had to kick the blanket away, then cover myself with it again. Horrible. Too warm to stay in, too cold to stay out. I hate it when that happens.

And that is really it.

I would write all about last Saturday, when I went to the Sci-Fi Con... but I'll save that for later... when my head's a bit more normal.

IQ Test

I took an IQ test today, mainly because I just fancied taking one.

It was the International High IQ Society test.

Anyway, it gave me this:



Predictably enough, my reaction was; "WHAT?!"

Then when the initial shock had passed, I felt rather proud! :D

And this was only a spur of the moment thing! Imagine if I had actually prepared for this!


[UPDATE: Because I suddenly realized that I wanted to sign up for this thing, I took the test again.

And guess what?

I scored higher xD

In Debt To My Muse

How many times have I posted today?

My muse is on a roll today.

Thankee, Nepenthe!

My Human Meth

My Human Meth

You've turned me into an addict
I'm burning in my personal hell
I go through withdrawal symptoms
The moment you go and walk away
You've turned me into an addict
A junkie looking for the well
of blissful intoxication
Every second away from you
is unbearable torture
I yearn to hear your voice
I long to see your face
The very moment you step away
The angels pack and go away
You've turned me into an addict
You're the object of my obsession;
My unhealthy, unrequited love affair
You've turned me into an addict

The Farm

Once there was a little farm on the western side of a town. It was owned by a nice couple; Mr and Mrs Swine. On this farm there lived a human. His name was Billy.

Billy ws not the only human on this farm. Billy's family lived here too, as well as his friends. Mr and Mrs Swine treated them nicely; and all in all their life was good. They could graze all they wanted in the green fields under the sun, they slept in warm, comfortable stalls filled with hay, and they were fed well and regularly. In fact, if you passed the farm on any given day, you would surely see Billy and his friends lying on the fields, soaking up the warmth of the sun, patting their portly bellies. Often, Mr Swine would go to their stalls and talk the humans, and they would revel in his attention. They especially loved it when he nuzzled the top of their heads with his snout.

It was a good life, and the humans were always happy. But the farm had its share of mysteries too. For instance, the number of humans never went up - only down. For every two new humans born, two older ones would disappear. It took some time before they noticed that every single human that disappeared was led to that old, gray building behind the red barn. They were led there, but no one ever came back. No one ever thought to question that - that was simply how things worked.

Life was good on this farm. There was plenty of food and lots of pleasant days under the sun. Some humans continued to be led into the gray building. But no one really cared, for after such occasions, Mrs Swine always came out holding bucketloads of food for them.

Then, one winter night, Billy's parents announced that he was going to be a big brother. Billy was overjoyed, of course. He ran outside and pranced in the snow in joyous celebration.

Billy's sister was born one cold autum night, after hours of labor. Billy watched fascinated as his tiny little sister suckled greedily from his mother's breast. He looked on as his tiny little sister held out her tiny little hand to touch their mother's wrist. Her tiny little hand touched her just below that tiny purple mark.

Life continued on the farm, if not slightly better than before. Billy now had a little sister to play with. Often, they would spend their afternoons sprawled together by the stable door, snoozing after their afternoon snack.

Then, exactly one year after Billy's little sister was born, Mr Swine dropped by the stable. He went over to Billy's mother and father, and put a leash on them. Then Mr Swine led them outside, and started towards that all to familiar gray building.

Billy then felt something stir in his stomach. He ran after them and yelled for Mr Swine to stop. Mr Swine seemed not to understand, for he just went on. Billy ran faster to be by his mother's side. "Mom! Stop!" He nearly choked out.

His mother did not even look slightly troubled. "It's alright, son. I've always wanted to know what was inside that building. I'll finally see it now!" Then, without a pause in her stride, she held his head in her hands and kissed the top of his head. Billy saw a flash of purple - the purple birthmark - before she lowered her hands again.

Then Mr Swine stopped. They had reached the gray building. Billy's mother walked inside first, but his father stopped. He turned to his son and said, "Goodbye now. Take care of your little sister." Then he too went inside. Billy watched as the doors closed behind his father.

Billy sat and waited outside for a while before he finally turned back to the stable. The night was beautiful; the stars were magnificent up in the sky. But Billy did not notice anything other than the freezing cold that bit into his very core.

He soon reached the stable, and saw that the other humans were up and about. It was dinnertime, and everyone was excited as usual. But Billy didn't feel hungry. He walked over to his corner and sat there. He sat, unmoved, and stared glumly at the others.

Mrs Swine arrived on time, once again with a bucket of food. The other humans lined up around their plates excitedly, as Mrs Swine dealt out the food. This was done in a few minutes time. Mrs Swine straightened up to observe the stable, and it was then that she spotted Billy crouched in the corner. She filled a plate with food and approached him.

Billy looked up and saw the plate first, and then Mrs Swine. Her smile was so beautiful, and her eyes so kind, that Billy could not help but smile back. He accepted the plate gratefuly and started to eat.

He was happy for a while, then suddenly the emotions related to his parents rose up to the surface, and he choked. He stared down at his plate as Mrs Swine started to pat his head. Then she nuzzled his head with her snout.

For a moment there, Billy thought he saw a purple spot on the meat that was on his plate. But he didn't delve on the thought. Mrs Swine was nuzzling him with her snout, and he loved that.

----------

The story behind this story:

I was in le Biology class, working, when suddenly my muse visited me. She was like, "WRITE THIS STORY NOW!!!" And who am I to go against my muse's wishes? I am but a vessel.

This madness was inspired by the thing I read about cattle being fed dead cattle, supposedly to increase meat production. Fun. But not so fun when you translate it to humans.