Warning: Too Much Inception

So the other night, I was having a normal dream, until I suddenly realized in the middle of it all that I was dreaming. Basically, I 'woke up' in the middle of my dream (I think the properly accepted term is lucid dreaming, or if you want to be even more anal specific about it; dream-initiated lucid dreaming).

The part I remember most clearly after 'waking up' was me trying to find out how to properly wake up. Thanks to a certain movie dealing with such a topic, I had a few ideas to try out. I tried giving myself a 'kick', but then it didn't work. Then I tried giving myself a 'kick' again while simultaneously killing myself.

In other words; I jumped from a building.

Didn't work.

Eventually, I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to wait for my alarm clock to ring. But then I started thinking; even if that's only in 5 minutes time, that's still an eternity in dream time.

Last thing I remember is wandering around aimlessly, trying to discover stuff... and then I woke up for real.

Like Eggs Being Beaten

Yes, it's been a while, I know.

There have been a lot of things going on, but I just haven't got the energy to update. Well actually I do. If I didn't have any energy left I'd be lying in bed instead of sitting here boring the life out of me. It's just that… as my rambling would suggest, my thoughts haven't been in order lately. And I'm just not used to that.

Well… I am. My thoughts have never been in proper order anyway, but there used to be at least a certain logic/order to the usual chaos. But now… thoughts are meshed together. I can't even tell where one ends or where the other begins. I worry about my future – nitpicking details about events that still lie out of reach… I run from past ghosts which, for some reason, chose to unearth themselves right at this moment. I cling to the present - a feeble attempt to hold on to my sanity. (That may perhaps be a bit too extreme… But I am actively trying to focus only on the present. It's like balancing on the edge of a knife, either way I fall—where have I heard that line before? Was it Doctor Who?)

The point is, I want to stop thinking… about things that have yet to come, and about things that have already come to pass. I can't change the past, so why fret about it?

As Master Oogway said, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery – but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present."

Gotta love Master Oogway.

PS: Because of excessive Torchwood, my mind's voice is now Welsh. So this entire blog post was read to me in that beautiful sing-song accent. It's just sad that whenever I try to speak with such an accent out loud, it sounds like the bastard child of Scottish and Irish (with a touch of Jamaican). Ah well. Whatever.

My thoughts seemed to have regained some kind of order now. That's good.

Posted from Word07

[EDIT: I checked, and the quote about the knife is actually from LoTR. Lady Galadriel said; "The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail. But hope remains, if friends stay true."]

Over 7,000 Words

Whilst fuming today, I came to realize that I become exceptionally cranky when I don't get enough sleep. Add stress and lack of caffeine to that mixture and the Large Hadron Collider suddenly seems like a waste of funds. You want The Big Bang? I'll give you The Big Bang.

Anyway...

Iced milk tea in Hong Kong. I miss it so much.
Both the country and the drink.

Greentea milkshake. Not in Japan, sadly.
It was fantastic nevertheless. I also miss it.

Ice cream formed like tiny beads! I used to have this as a child, but the country I live in now doesn't have them. Needless to say I relished every 'dot'.

Fun fact: I nearly killed someone while purchasing this ice cream. As you all know, I train Karate. I went up to the booth and placed my order, and did not know that there was someone behind me. I moved to get my wallet from my pocket, and elbowed a lady in the chest. That move is a Karate technique, and I could've actually stopped her heart.
Sorry about that.

Fancy a hug, luv?
From last winter. Fun with the exchange students.

My first proper Espresso!
It led to a colorful day.

We had to watch some boring movie. My friend brought snacks.
This happened.

:O
With my favorite teacher at the back.
You see that inconspicuous coffee cup at the right of this thumb-Harry?
Yeah, that's to blame.

Men are driven by testosterone, women are driven by Toblerone.
- Jo Brand

You Shall Read This And Nod Sagely

The danger of knowing too much is that things tend to become boring and meaningless.

Several times during the course of our lives, we'll find ourselves in situations where the urge to lie down and give up becomes overwhelming. Some give in. Others march on, without really knowing why they do so.

Hemingway was right; wise people can never truly be happy. They can't stop marching - they're too curious as to what lies ahead. But at the same time, they've already figured out what lies ahead, and know that the march is futile at best.

Times change. But most of all, people change.

Life: so many mysteries to uncover, so little time. All for the best, maybe. If mankind obtained the answers to all their questions, what then would be the point of living?

Her realm is close, and can be visited; however, human minds were not made to comprehend her domain, and those few who have made the journey have been incapable of reporting back more than the tiniest fragments.
- a description of Delirium (The Sandman: Season of Mists, "a prologue")

Oh, How Things Change

I read through my old posts, and realized just how many things can change over the course of 2 years...

Mostly for the purpose of my own entertainment, I'm going to write what I think about some of my old opinions.

For starters, in this post I ranted about how much I hated emos, and people who acted emo.

Total number of emo posts to date: 8, (plus these unlabeled babies: O_O, @_@, -__-, O.o, T_T, ^_^, ^_~, and others that I might have missed...)

Perhaps I should start hating myself?

From this post: "I must say, the movie's really good. I actually rushed here when it was done, cause I wanted to give it a review while it was still fresh in my mind. I loved it! Absolutely loved it!"

I'm sorry, younger self. Your older self isn't too fond of that movie anymore. She believes it to be riddled with "facts" which have no basis in reality. The overall plot was good though, she gives you that.

I'm not too sure anymore about the conclusion that I reached here... Sometimes beautiful things can exist for no reason. Plus, I'm coming close to believing that maybe there is no higher purpose! Maybe life, the world, the universe and everything was just an accident. But humans fear that their struggles actually mean nothing, so they create their own purpose. It's like trying to make out images from smoke.

On the subject of this post, I'm really really surprised with the "results". I know for a fact that I've swore more than a couple of times here. Just goes to show that you can't trust a mere handful of samples - you have to take *several handfuls*.

About the Devil Girl arc from Sinfest... there have been updates. I'll be posting them soon.

That's basically all I wanted to talk about. For now.

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
- Neil Gaiman

I'm Confused

This man confuses me;

That man is Gackt. He's practically a J-pop god. I still can't make up my mind about him.

He's the typical J-pop star. Cool, polished, a tad feminine, stylish, sexy, feminine, ambiguous... feminine... Better get to my point before his fans murder me.

His music isn't the kind I usually listen to, but I like some of them anyway. Top of the list would be Mizérable... mostly because he looks fantastically fecking HOT in that coat...

From another angle.

Oh and uhm, nice lyrics. Yeah. It's a love story. As most J-pop songs are...

I still can't decide if I like him or not.

I mean, as mentioned before, he is the typical J-pop star (*cough*feminine*cough*). But on the other hand...

...he's Gackt. And he's hot.

And he's kissed Hyde, apparently. Numerous times. (As evidenced here, here, and here.)*

[So it might not be that the man actually *kissed* Hyde, but more that there have been numerous *photos* of them kissing. Don't kill me.]

I'm not posting the image because my blog cannot handle the hotness... I mean, Gackt AND Hyde? Hahaha.. ha...

Please excuse this fangirl... just going to step out for a bit to implode.

A carp on the cutting board sleeps as it reflects its fate
- 'BLACKOUT', Asian Kung-Fu Generation

Wants To Post, Here's The Post

I strongly suspect that this post is going to be as chaotic as my mind...

I've fallen in love with another Japanese band. Aqua Timez. Love, love, LOVE their songs. Shame I haven't been able to find a store that has their CDs... maybe I should use Amazon next time.

My biorhythm chart tells me that I'll be feeling blue until next week. It's a damn shame, really. I want to be happy on my birthday... But screw that.

Fanfics! Ahh, fanfiction... There are some insanely good ones, but there are also some that exist on the other side of the scale. Good fanfiction can make readers doubt which things are canon. I've come across fanfiction stories written sooo well that for a moment I wasn't sure what actually happened (and didn't happen) in the original storyline.

But of course, only a select few have the ability to write such convincing stories. The other writers... they try. They genuinely try. Some of them manage to spew out somewhat forgivable finished products. Others... fail. Spectacularly.

You might be failing spectacularly as a fanfic writer if:

• Your story has more grammatical/spelling errors than words.
• You have chosen a format which makes your story unreadable. Toggle case should not be used... EVER. And please, for the love of everything that is sacred in Geekdom, use paragraphs! Nothing scares readers away faster than seeing a HUMONGOUS, undivided block of text.
  
• Your plotline is shite. This specifically refers to the overused 'character falls in love with OC/other character and they confess their feelings in the most OOC way possible.' Speaking of which...
• The characters are out of character. I admit, sometimes people may do OOC things in the name of love or competition, and sometimes that makes for a good plot device. But keep it real, people! This is believable: the shy character dances/sings in public to win someone's heart. This is NOT believable: the tight-lipped, stoic character spews out paragraph after paragraph of cheesy, romantic confessions. Hiei will never recite Shakespeare, and House will never make love to Cameron on a bed of roses. (Or maybe he will...)
• Your OC (own character) is a Mary Sue (or Gary Stu, if you're male). OCs are fine. But when I read stories with Mary Sues... the typical ones who have unbelievable skills/powers, who dominate the entire storyline, who push the actual characters out of the picture... I only have seven words for the author: I will stab you in the face! Satire/parody fics are exempt from this rule. Maybe this is the root of my hatred for all things Disney...
• Your story contains impossible crossovers. CharmedxHP I can accept, but HPxNaruto makes me want to slap you.
• You interrupt the story with author's notes (A/N). Use footnotes.
  
• You end chapters with faux dialogue between you and the characters. Really, using them to ask for reviews is just sad.
• Your story has over 40 chapters. I came across a fanfic with --I kid you not-- 95 chapters. Even the LoTR books never went over 30 chapters! (Combined is a different story. But Fellowship had 22 chappies, Two Towers had 24, and Return of The King had 20) And no, I did not read the fanfic.

And I've ran out of criticisms. Rest now, shitty fanfic writers, but I'll be back with more later.

Having said that...

I recently found the only copy of my first ever proper fanfic. The old feelings of pride resurfaced... until I read the thing again. Imagine my horror when I realized that the story --*my story* that I had once been so proud of-- had OOC characters, an incredibly shite and implausible plotline, and a Mary Sue. I felt the urge to destroy the pages, to destroy the evidence that I had penned something so bad, but I ultimately decided against it. I'm keeping it instead... as a reminder of how I should NOT write my future stories.

I do still write crappy fanfiction from time to time. But you know the difference between me and the other shitty writers?

I don't publish my work.

Writing is a socially acceptable form of paranoia.
- E.L. Doctorow

Bestfriend's Just Been Upgraded

[Mini note: This should've been uploaded ages ago. Please excuse the delay caused by crappy internet connections and the authoress' worsening memory gap.]

I don't really believe in the concept of soulmates. It's romantic, sure... souls linked to each other. A bond so strong not even time or fate or death can tear them apart... but nevertheless, I have trouble believing in it. Having said that...

I believe I've found my soulmate. I've known her all her life. Both of us have basically stopped growing and have remained petite. We like the same food. We hate the same people. We enjoy the same things. We understand each other without having to say a single word.

And... this is quite spooky; our teeth are crooked in the same way.

I love her with all of my cold, black heart, and she loves me with all of her pure, white heart.

And her name... is Poochie.

Behold, my soulmate.

Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
- Richard Bach

New Blood

This is what happens when the authoress drinks Red Bull AND latte.

If you can't read hiragana, it says 'Panda, teme wa baka yarou!'
Which of course means 'haha gotcha! Send me a message, I might consider telling you.'

The whole board was riddled with similar... outbursts.

My blood type is coffee.

This Will Be Quick

Imma see Eddie Izzard in December!!!

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~*

Green Belt

People of the world--

I have a GREEN belt!! Mwahahahahaha~

(Oh, and I had my first ever close encounter with an overbearing mother. I don't care if your child's 11, you have no right to disrespect my Sensei!)

Let Me Just Say

You have not lived until you've had a "Eureka!" moment...

...brought on by Red Bull.

Interlude

Because what I'm feeling right now cannot be adequately summed up by a single verb encased in asterisks...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Thursday

The week is nearly over. But my Bleach marathon remains at a standstill. In a previous post, I explained how TEES was responsible for the setback. It still is, though this time it was joined by its sometimes-friend-often-enemy, Life.

As I also mentioned last time, I was ambushed by 3 countries under TEES. I did come out of the scuffle victorious, having beaten Gymland to a pulp, outspanishing El País de la Clase de Español, and pounding the microorganisms out of Biocountry.

But oh, the old Empire was not done with me, no.

Since last week there were talks of TEES sending out its Special Forces Unit; EXAM (Evil Xtrabastardly Academic Motherf*ckers). So I dropped everything in my schedule and prepared for the assault. Today was the day they were to strike, apparently. Thankfully, my fears proved unjustified, as the only thing EXAM had for me in their arsenal was a tiny, inconsequential cherry bomb called International English.

And Life! Damn it, Life. Nearly all the time, Life's ideals clash with TEES', but this one time they managed to set their differences aside and banded together to sabotage me. It very nearly worked, Life, but it didn't. Close... but no cigar.

It's a strange world I live in, dear reader(s). As if TEES and Life - two major organizations - weren't enough, I was also visited by the demons Procra and Stinashun. They tied me up and forced me to do NOTHING for hours on end. So really, what can I do?

Bah, who cares, really? I won't have my exams until June, so I'm good.

Before I go, I'd just like to note;

Once again, this sign... *sigh*

Why do you haunt me?

Life isn't weird: it's just the people in it.

Derailment

About a week ago, I announced that I was going to return to Geekdom. So I sketched out a timeline/plan of 10+ Anime episodes per day. I followed that plan, although admittedly I had to deviate quite a few times.

Things were going well. I only had 11 episodes left. I was nearing the Geekdom border; I could see the place, could almost smell the sweet, sweet scent of the motherland. Sadly, this is where the Shuttle came to a halt. Everything will most likely be postponed until Wednesday.

The reason for the postponement? Here's a bit of history;

Since as far as its citizens could remember, Geekdom has been at war against a dark and cruel enemy, TEES. TEES stands for The Evil Empire of School, and is comprised by several different countries of varying sizes. Not much else is known about this evil empire, but one thing is certain; the battle has raged on for centuries, for TEES, for some reason, is hellbent on thwarting everything that Geekdom does.

This weekend, TEES struck again. It sent 3 countries in a covert mission to derail my plans. Yes, dear reader(s). I was ambushed by three countries under TEES; Gymland, El País de la Clase de Español, and Biocountry. I'm fighting them with everything that I've got, and I'm quite sure I'll be able to fend them off by Wednesday.

I shall come out of this battle victorious. That I promise you.

*imaginary cape flaps in the wind*

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
- Albert Einstein

The Caffeine Speaks

Before you panic, this was made using pens.

I drew it. Using pens.

[Update: Because caffeine, once in your system, NEVER rests.]

Brain Goes Melty?

My day was just weird... T'was full of random meet-ups and serendipity.

I fully expected some indie pop/rock song to start playing.

But aahh... Must leave now before brain goes melty.

Btw, Bear is actually tiny. Here be a piccie for scale.

Lookit him... Hanging on for dear bear life...

It's LATE!

My brain may be melting...

Look! Tis me with my bear!!

This One Will Make Sense, I Promise

That title is a total lie.

So an excerpt from my diary (now in unintentional hiatus):

September 26, 2008

...Then again at lunch. Shame I didn't win.

I wanted to ____!!! ;_;

So here's the plan: I join Mensa, let it slip that I'm in, THEN ____.

I'm hearing comments from inside my head that it's hilarious/sad that I'd go to great lengths just to _______. Ah well.

I just can't bring myself to clarify that, I'm sorry. If you really want to know, message me, and if I like your face, I'll answer you.

And boo to you, voice inside my head - that thing totally happened!

It *is* a bit hilarious/sad that I went to such lengths to be able to do that thing, but hah! It was most definitely worth it!

But I was thinking of a plan to dye one's whiskers green.
- Lewis Carroll

Nonsensical Ramblings

It seems this is one of *those* days...

And I don't feel like specifying any further, thank you very much. So I'll most likely be filling this with nonsense until I feel like stopping.

I like the feel of the keyboard against my fingers. Can typing be considered therapy? It should be, really.

I feel...

I hate it when...

I dislike that feeling.

I... should finish that essay due this Friday.

So bye.