Wants To Post, Here's The Post

I strongly suspect that this post is going to be as chaotic as my mind...

I've fallen in love with another Japanese band. Aqua Timez. Love, love, LOVE their songs. Shame I haven't been able to find a store that has their CDs... maybe I should use Amazon next time.

My biorhythm chart tells me that I'll be feeling blue until next week. It's a damn shame, really. I want to be happy on my birthday... But screw that.

Fanfics! Ahh, fanfiction... There are some insanely good ones, but there are also some that exist on the other side of the scale. Good fanfiction can make readers doubt which things are canon. I've come across fanfiction stories written sooo well that for a moment I wasn't sure what actually happened (and didn't happen) in the original storyline.

But of course, only a select few have the ability to write such convincing stories. The other writers... they try. They genuinely try. Some of them manage to spew out somewhat forgivable finished products. Others... fail. Spectacularly.

You might be failing spectacularly as a fanfic writer if:

• Your story has more grammatical/spelling errors than words.
• You have chosen a format which makes your story unreadable. Toggle case should not be used... EVER. And please, for the love of everything that is sacred in Geekdom, use paragraphs! Nothing scares readers away faster than seeing a HUMONGOUS, undivided block of text.
  
• Your plotline is shite. This specifically refers to the overused 'character falls in love with OC/other character and they confess their feelings in the most OOC way possible.' Speaking of which...
• The characters are out of character. I admit, sometimes people may do OOC things in the name of love or competition, and sometimes that makes for a good plot device. But keep it real, people! This is believable: the shy character dances/sings in public to win someone's heart. This is NOT believable: the tight-lipped, stoic character spews out paragraph after paragraph of cheesy, romantic confessions. Hiei will never recite Shakespeare, and House will never make love to Cameron on a bed of roses. (Or maybe he will...)
• Your OC (own character) is a Mary Sue (or Gary Stu, if you're male). OCs are fine. But when I read stories with Mary Sues... the typical ones who have unbelievable skills/powers, who dominate the entire storyline, who push the actual characters out of the picture... I only have seven words for the author: I will stab you in the face! Satire/parody fics are exempt from this rule. Maybe this is the root of my hatred for all things Disney...
• Your story contains impossible crossovers. CharmedxHP I can accept, but HPxNaruto makes me want to slap you.
• You interrupt the story with author's notes (A/N). Use footnotes.
  
• You end chapters with faux dialogue between you and the characters. Really, using them to ask for reviews is just sad.
• Your story has over 40 chapters. I came across a fanfic with --I kid you not-- 95 chapters. Even the LoTR books never went over 30 chapters! (Combined is a different story. But Fellowship had 22 chappies, Two Towers had 24, and Return of The King had 20) And no, I did not read the fanfic.

And I've ran out of criticisms. Rest now, shitty fanfic writers, but I'll be back with more later.

Having said that...

I recently found the only copy of my first ever proper fanfic. The old feelings of pride resurfaced... until I read the thing again. Imagine my horror when I realized that the story --*my story* that I had once been so proud of-- had OOC characters, an incredibly shite and implausible plotline, and a Mary Sue. I felt the urge to destroy the pages, to destroy the evidence that I had penned something so bad, but I ultimately decided against it. I'm keeping it instead... as a reminder of how I should NOT write my future stories.

I do still write crappy fanfiction from time to time. But you know the difference between me and the other shitty writers?

I don't publish my work.

Writing is a socially acceptable form of paranoia.
- E.L. Doctorow

I'm Looking For A Distraction

My favorite fanfic is Island, by BlueUtopiah. It's a YYH fanfic.

I strongly recommend that you go read it, even if you're not familiar with the series. Rarely have I ever come across a story so exceptional, so exquisite, so soaked in angst. Everytime I read it, I cry.

Here's a tidbit. Might give some insight as to why I love it so much.

-----

The rest of their meal passed in mildly comfortable silence and when it became obvious that neither of them could stomach any more food, Kurama rose and began to clear the table. Hiei remained in his seat and after a moment, his eyes widened and he placed a hand on his chest.

The heaviness…it’s gone.

Funny, he hadn’t felt that crushing intensity for hours; in fact, for a little while he’d actually forgotten about it.

He glanced up at Kurama, who was busy rinsing dishes in the sink, and his eyes glazed over in wonder. Sure, he could attribute his lightness to his lovely stay with Karasu, or the ass-beating he took from Kirin and Shigure, but once again his money was on the redhead. Pain and pleasure chased his depression away, but never this well; even within his reprieves despair always hung over him, imminent, like a storm at the edge of his consciousness, and no matter how much he tried he could never free himself enough to actually forget.

This…this was new.

Hiei took a deep breath, putting his hand back on the table, and stared at the redhead’s back in confusion and amazement.

Kurama, what have you done to me?

-----

And yes, I read yaoi. What of it?

Quote today is also taken from this fic. One of my favorite quotes of all time.

...and if one looked it was easy to death's shadow lying coldly across the boy's thin shoulders, whispering promises of peace and salvation.
- 'Island', BlueUtopiah