Over 7,000 Words

Whilst fuming today, I came to realize that I become exceptionally cranky when I don't get enough sleep. Add stress and lack of caffeine to that mixture and the Large Hadron Collider suddenly seems like a waste of funds. You want The Big Bang? I'll give you The Big Bang.

Anyway...

Iced milk tea in Hong Kong. I miss it so much.
Both the country and the drink.

Greentea milkshake. Not in Japan, sadly.
It was fantastic nevertheless. I also miss it.

Ice cream formed like tiny beads! I used to have this as a child, but the country I live in now doesn't have them. Needless to say I relished every 'dot'.

Fun fact: I nearly killed someone while purchasing this ice cream. As you all know, I train Karate. I went up to the booth and placed my order, and did not know that there was someone behind me. I moved to get my wallet from my pocket, and elbowed a lady in the chest. That move is a Karate technique, and I could've actually stopped her heart.
Sorry about that.

Fancy a hug, luv?
From last winter. Fun with the exchange students.

My first proper Espresso!
It led to a colorful day.

We had to watch some boring movie. My friend brought snacks.
This happened.

:O
With my favorite teacher at the back.
You see that inconspicuous coffee cup at the right of this thumb-Harry?
Yeah, that's to blame.

Men are driven by testosterone, women are driven by Toblerone.
- Jo Brand

All Out Now

God I feel so elitist!

There's a bunch of people here talking about Twilight and it annoys the hell out of me.

See, the thing is, I was among the early Twilight readers. I finished the whole series before these feckers even knew it existed. *I* am the reason that our school library has the damn books. *I* requested them.

And now I hate it, while everyone loves it.

I sit here damning the casting director to hell, while everyone squees at how 'omgsoperfect' the choice for Edward is.

It's quite sad, really. I liked the series. I really did. LOVED it even. I absolutely adored Edward - pined for him, even...

And then the movie came along, and it was as though my eyes were forced open.

It's a stupid, STUPID story. Seriously.

The premise itself is idiotic: why would a 900+ year old vampire want to go to high school? Has he nothing better to do? Surely he's surpassed high school education! Why isn't he out somewhere working - or at least doing something more productive?

And what happened in the first book? Wasn't the first half of that dedicated to describing how Bella falls down at any microscopic piece of dust that lies in her path? There was absolutely NO plot at that point - it was just Bella and Edward declaring their undying love for each other after she fell down and he said he wanted to drink her blood. What kind of mental illness does that child have? Stockholm syndrome? What - WHAT?? I wouldn't be surprised if in a few years, Twilight becomes linked to a rising number of abusive relationships. (Nevermind if your partner wants to kill you - the important thing is that you LUV each other. And make vampire babies.)

And DON'T get me started on Breaking Dawn. That book is an abomination for anyone who has any basic knowledge of biology.

I now see Twilight as Stephenie Meyer's thinly veiled attempt to recreate her High School existence.

Peace.

You can't be wise and in love at the same time.
- Bob Dylan

A Concert

Guitar riffs going off in my head
Angry flashes of blinding light
Somehow everything has become red
Nails dig in a fist clenched tight

Inanimate objects lose their life
They break in half, they wither, they die
Muscles clench, prepare for armed strife
Abundant rage expressed through a sigh

Inside my mind it's a concert all right
Fucking angry riffs, damn defeaning sounds
Drowning in the melody resonating through the night
Howl out your feelings, akin to the hounds

Vocal chords be scratched
In a long drawn scream
Emotions be unmatched
In this horrible waking dream

The guitars are still playing
Unheard by anyone but me
It is my angst they are relaying
No one else to drown but me

So I Scream And Shout

I woke up today feeling angry.

Well, not really. I woke up feeling rather aggravated, and it rapidly snowballed from there.

Thought process included such lovely bits as "skip class", "overdose on caffeine", and even "kill the cat".

I might kill people today just for breathing too loudly.

Oh yes, the rage is back.

So this makes the official thing even more official.

I never knew that I would ever think myself comparable to Jenga blocks. The all-important support block has been pulled, and now the tower has collapsed.

It might take some time to build it back up again.

Hurray.

Now I scream and shout
Don't know what I'm so pissed off about
- Linkin Park parody

More Than One Word

Sometimes, one word is not enough.

Sometimes, no matter how strong that one word is, it still turns out insufficient.

Sometimes you just have to rant. Or at least, in my case, produce a post with enigmatic contents.

I've said it before, I say it again. FUCK!

Winter has come.

The second act of A Thousand Splendid Suns has begun.

The contained rage inside me has awakened. Soon it shall course through my system once again.

I have created a new playlist just for the occasion. It is called "Soothe the Rage".

They say grief has 5 stages:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Denial is a river in Egypt. Once again, I am currently drowning in it.

The threats still stand. I will destroy you, one way or another.
Then again, the passive side of my personality might come out again.
You should be thankful for that.
More often than not, my rage is directed towards myself instead.

I find that eloquence has left me today. Quite natural, seeing as my Yang* muse has now left.
("Yang" in the context of Yin and Yang. Yin, the dark side, Yang, the light side. My muse of light.)

There will be no quotes today, just an unfinished poem I wrote some time ago.
It doesn't even have a title.

Added to this fucking incident, my blood sugar seems to be extremely low at the moment.

So fuck it all, I'm going to eat.

...

Winter is nearing
Snowflakes shall soon fall
Covering, separating
The flower from The Sun

Cold and obstructing
Cruel layer of white
...
Unbearable absence
...
Occasional glimpses
From when the wind
Lifts the snow and
parts the gray clouds

The flower's core
May very well wilt

Cherish every ray
Cram every memory
Of The Sun's light
Into it's stock and store

Of course it was never
Ever meant to be
The Sun resides in its heaven
And the flower on its earth

But the flower will wait
Perhaps someday, with
the aid of the caring wind
Seeds may travel
The flower may live in a place
Where there is no snow

Someday the oppressing
winter will end
And the flower will then feel
The light of The Sun again

[PS: I know I've ripped the shite out of emos in the past, but fuck it. I find that this song sums up how I feel quite accurately.]

[EDIT Feb 3 2009: Blasted copyright laws! Replaced the video though...]

Im Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance