Mirror Images

No. No difference at all.

See, I was going to use a clever pun as a title, but it's late at night and the world is currently tilting... according to my perspective, that is. So I plan on lying down on my bed until the world decides to get its act together and stay STILL (thus ushering in the apocalypse, but that's beyond the point.)

Good night.

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise there wouldn't be religious people.
- Dr Gregory House

Blah

I was going to sleep. I really was.

But then these ponderings. Not really worthy of posting, but too good for the trash chute of my mind.

I have a math test on Wednesday, and I'm at ease. I'm too at ease it's making me uneasy.
Why am I not nervous? Not even one bit?
The test material is hard. I should be nervous.

We're going to desecrate an animal corpse tomorrow. Dissection in Biology. W00t!!

I finished taking notes/highlighting the important parts of the last few chapters of The Kite Runner. Run-in sentence, I don't care. I'm like driving on automatic right now.

I'm very disappointed with Amir. Of his decision to give in to his fears and pray on some old make-shift rug.
Not that it helped any.
It's just... it disappoints me, and makes me sad at the same time. Sad because that same situation is unfolding right now, on several different parts of the world. People let themselves be goaded by fear, and bend over.

Think for yourselves. Be strong. Find your own light.

Bahh...

Being religious doesn't mean you're a good person. It just means you go to church.
- Jon Stewart

Today

First day of school today.

Same old shite. Class schedules, disgruntled students with half their consciousness still trapped in the vortex of Vacation, new teachers, first years obviously lost inside the campus grounds.

But my class from last year is still mostly intact, which is good. We lost 3 people, and gained 4. I also met an exchange student from Italy. I shall be keeping an eye on her.

Oh, and I'm very relieved that I won't be teaching Japanese this year. That's one responsibility off my back. Yay!

Ever since I started that Church of Aragorn, things started to look up. Maybe I'm onto something here.

Although, I checked Demonbaby today, and it's on hiatus. I screamed, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Sadness.

Who else will do the (articulate) ranting for me, Rob? WHO??

And I've still got anger issues. That has to be sorted out. Preferably in the near future.

Oh and I borrowed The Hobbit today, from the school library. I said I'd read it today, but I mostly relaxed and dealt with paperwork when I got home... so. Ah well.

Oh, and the supposed 'heirs' of The Knight Templars are suing the catholic church for $150 billion. For 'assets seized by the catholic church seven centuries ago.'

I must say - I support their cause. But they're doing it wrong. They look like nutters, using that approach. They should've sued for pain and suffering instead. Although, would that work? I don't know.

Good luck to them.

To err is human; to forgive highly unlikely.

PS: I forgot to mention that Stupid Classmate is still in my class! So we might be blessed with more of her Words of Zen soon.

We're Building A Bridge...

...but we don't have any river.

Dylan Moran, ladies and gentlemen. I love that guy.

Anyway, I've been going through my logs, and I saw that I've casually mentioned The Church of Aragorn a few times. But I've never really gone in depth or anything. Not even a link! Shame.

So here it is.

The Church of Aragorn. Dare I say, The *First* Church of Aragorn?

View and JOIN! Although I haven't actually put up a mailing list yet... I'll get to it.

My Rant on Everything (mostly Disney and Religion)

Okay, first of all, I saw on yahoo.com that Miley Cyrus is going to write her memoirs.

Maybe it's just me, or maybe I'm just being too judgemental on something that I don't really know anything about, but excuse me?!

Oh great. Give the 13 year olds something to be excited about.

I guess I just despise anything that's too flowery, too happy, brimming with bubbles and fluffy unicorns and pink hearts. I hate Disney. I never did buy into that HSM craze. Zac Efron looks too unnatural for my tastes. Too tanned, too make-uped, too chiseled. I don't buy it.

And now the real purpose of my rant:

I just went to my mother's room and saw that she and my stepdad were watching "Touched By An Angel". Why anyone would want to watch such rubbish is beyond me. Yeah, yeah. Stories about kindness, chicken soup for the soul and show the world that god sends angels and blahblahBLAH.

But why don't the angels ever appear to Muslims? To Jews? To starving children in Africa?

I asked my mother that once, and she said "The producers just want to keep it simple." I am so not satisfied with that answer mother, I'm sorry. It's rubbish.

There was this one episode where one of the angels got sent to jail and there was this goth kid there. They talked, and much mushy stuff later, the angel was pardoned by god (why he would be mad at something he supposedly created in the first place, and would therefore know how the thing would react, is beyond me. But hey, I'm just a mortal. How could I question the almighty Christian god?)

Anyway, point is, the angel somehow softened goth chick's heart and made her believe in god again.

Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... yeah. Yeah. I could poke about a dozen holes in that story, but I don't think I'll bother.

I saw that the episode today dealt with the issue of cloning. One angel said something about "next it'll be humans. Nothing will ever be the same again."

Is it just me, or is it really smelling like some bullshit propaganda in here? Oh good, it's not just me.

Oh hey, don't give me any crap. I know I only saw part of the episode; about 20 seconds to be exact. But I'm only doing as the fundies do! I'm judging something that I've never really bothered to investigate! Now I know why you do it. It's very very easy!

I hate religion. I really do. I mostly hate this religion that I was raised to believe in. I never really did buy into it. Everytime I preached something it kinda felt wrong. I was especially worried about how I smiled every time a fundie was taken down by an atheist or an agnostic or a skeptic.

Maybe because my family was involved in church work, and I had several friends who were too... so I sort of saw what the system looked like from the inside.

I saw that prayer meetings actually involved people stressing to cook and prepare the house to welcome the guests, who were clutching their bibles which preached about living like Christ, while wearing their best clothes. Then they would sip coffee and speak of politics and who did what in the neighborhood before bursting into songs about the holy spirit, and then pondering over what certain verses/gospels mean.

I hate the bible. I've never really tried to read and analyze it before. And now that I am reading it and understanding what it means, I feel the urge to rip it to shreds and stomp on the pieces. I remember an argument I read once from a book someone gave me. A skeptic had asked a believer why we should believe in the bible, when it was written by anonymous bronze age men who were ignorant about a lot of things. The believer said, "well you believe in the multiplication table right? why would you believe in that when you don't know who wrote it?" The skeptic replied, "because it works so well." To which the believer gladly exclaimed "well so does the bible!"

As a young soul, I read that happily and used it whenever I was faced with a skeptic. I used it once in a debate. I now want to go back in time and gently tell my younger self how wrong she is.

In some respects, the believer is right. The bible does indeed work. It tells you to love your neighbor, to forgive your prodigal son, to ask and you shall receive and etc. However, those lessons can also be picked up from any book. From Harry Potter I learned about love; a mother's love, teen love and etc. Harry Potter taught me about responsibilities, about how sometimes we have to choose between what is right and what is easy (thank you Dumbledore.) Harry Potter also taught me how sometimes power can corrupt people.

And also, aside from those good values, the "good book" also taught Christians a lot of other things. It taught them to wage war against neighboring cities because they believed in another god. It taught them not to suffer a witch to live, which of course resulted in the Inquisition. Now I'm only 17. There are a lot of things I don't know yet. But I do know that burning women who you think are witches is a very barbaric thing to do. Of course the church apologized for it... about a couple of centuries later. Of course, they did also finally accept that the earth is ROUND only a couple of decades ago.

WANKERS!!!!!!!!

I find it very interesting that they burned witches and/or mystics, when prophets and mystics are used a lot in the bible. You'd think that if the book really came from god he'd make up his mind about stuff...


The anger has dissipated. I am utterly relieved... for the moment, that is. Once I pick up the "good book" and read Deuteronomy I'll be pissed again.

A Matter of Repetition

April 8, 2008
Mood: "blahhhhhhhhhhh"

This happened today:

Teacher: Okay, you are henceforth divided into 6 groups. Group 1 consists of... *starts rattling off names*
(She finishes reciting group member names)
Teacher: Any questions?
(A lot of people ask about their groups)
Teacher: *jokingly* Do you honestly have such sucky short term memories? Wow! *repeats list anyways* Now any questions?
The One: Yes. Which group am I in?
Me: *headpalm* -__-

This happened yesterday:



So congratulate me, dear people. I accomplished what no one has previously accomplished - I .fucking. broke. StumbleUpon!

[EDIT: Damn, it figures that someone else in the internet would accomplish something of the sort. Only in a more epic sort of way.]

Chain Letters And How I Fight Them

February 9, 2008
Mood: f*cking pissed off

In a previous rant, I expressed how much I detested chain letters. I hate them. I really do. I hate them with a passion.

I also said that I don't have New Year's Resolutions. Well screw that. I now have one. From now on, I'll answer each fucking chain letter so that people will be discouraged from sending me more. I already started yesterday.

And just now, I saw this monstrosity in my inbox.

Date:	02/9/2008 3:41 am
Subject:	read
Message:	IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD? If you would say no, IGNORE THIS, NOW.IF YOU WOULD SAY YES, AND STAND UP FOR JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE REPOST THIS.

That is just the start of a very looooooooooooooooooooong chain letter meant to inform me that God loves me. Or no, I should be more specific - that the CHRISTIAN God loves me.

Have I mentioned that just last week, all the bull and crap I've been forced to live with has finally gone to my head, leading me to finally take the plunge and turn my back on being a Catholic? Yes, the crazy authoress is now an agnostic.

So needless to say, when I opened that thing, I was very, very, VERY pissed off.

EXTREMELY, especially pissed off because I had received the very same letter yesterday.

I replied to that same mail yesterday with a very irate message, telling them to either send me a real message or bugger off...

Now I replied to that message again.

I told the person who sent me the email that NO, I do not believe in the Christian God anymore, etc etc etc...

And then promptly directed her to evilbible.com.

I think I'll keep on doing that from now on.

Of Library Musings And Religious Bullshit

January 28, 2008
Mood: somber

It's free period. I'm sitting in the library. I should probably be doing something a bit more productive right now... something a bit more substantial than a blog post. But I don't particularly care. Besides, I've been itching to update this thing for several days now. It's time I finally do so...

This is again, one of those days that I don't feel like doing anything except rot away in my bed.

But not really. This is one of those days that I don't really feel like doing anything. Except die. Just joking. Not really.

No, it's not a bad day. Far from it. Under normal circumstance I should be fine. But lately I've been kind of... philosophical. And as much as that's a good thing, it's also bad. Cause philosophical thoughts depress me.

Maybe taking History and Philosophy next year isn't such a hot idea after all...

Europe is a nice place to live in. But is my life just to be confined to keeping up with the latest fashion trends, studying hard to get good grades to secure a nice spot at a university, traveling to other European countries? Granted, there's surely more to it than that, but it feels like an empty existence.

Asia was also a nice place to live in. But is life really all about business, keeping up with religious bureaucracy (and bullshit)? I'm sure there's more... I just don't see it. I'm blind. Selective blindness. Excellent disease.

My problem is that for a Cancer, I find it relatively hard to commit to anything.

Cause I know that everything ends, eventually.

True, I could just enjoy the journey while I'm at it. But I don't know.

I hope this dreary feeling of gloom ends soon. It's suffocating. I don't like it. It's a very familiar feeling, but this is one feeling of familiarity I'd rather forget.

I had a dream last night. It involved a picture.

A picture of me kissing someone.

Hurray.

You would've been perfect... but not really. I guess it's fine as it is. We wouldn't have been compatible anyways.

I want to sit here and not move. No, I want to disappear and reappear again when I feel like it.

Is there really a God?

Yes. I'm sure there's a God. But his followers are insane.

I saw a documentary last night. Turns out that Herod, twisted and power-hungry as he was, had NEVER ordered the massacre of the innocents. No. It never happened. Or if it did, it wasn't him.

I am finding out more and more truths about this book that is the cornerstone of my belief. And well, if the cornerstone turns out to be built of lies... How am I supposed to keep on believing?

Jesus once mentioned something about how having faith the size of a mustard seed was good enough. Or something along those lines. Well, I believe in God. I do. Because the universe is filled with too much wonder, too many amazing things, too many fantastic creations, that there HAS to be a God. This isn't just the product of some random natural selection... No. Someone created this whole thing. Why? I don't know. No one knows. I don't know if anyone will ever know. Why was this whole shebang created? No one knows either. All we can do is speculate, and live our lives the best way we know.

Sometimes I feel like turning Agnostic. Organized religion is filled with too much bullshit nowadays. Hypocrites right and left... propaganda everywhere. What these righteous, motherfucking religious leaders don't understand is that... well, just because they believe in something doesn't make them superior. Children believe in Santa too, you know.

And God speaks to you. Okay. You believe so, I won't trash your belief. But if it comes to the point that you start saying "God told me that these books are the work of the devil!!" well I've got news for you. It's called Schizophrenia, my dear child. Look it up.

You know that your God is fictional if he hates the same people that you do.

Whatever happened to "love your neighbor"? Nowadays it's all "prosecute the sinners and interpret the Bible the way you see fit. Oh, and prosecute the sinners." We're back to the days of the Pharisees, we're back to crucifying people because their lifestyle doesn't match with our belief system.

I don't like it. Not one bit.

The worst part is that these religious hypocrites do not know how to listen! True, they can "hear" the voice of God, but can they hear their neighbors? NOOOOO. It will be a cold day in hell before these righteous fuckers decide to open their ears and finally pull out that log sticking out of their eyes.

If Jesus were alive today, He'd cry. I'm sure He would.

A wise man once said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

It was Mahatma Gandhi, I believe. But I may be wrong. It doesn't matter though. Whoever said that hit the nail right on the head. It's true. So true. So true it should be framed and plastered to the faces of all the Pharisees today.

I think I'd rather be Agnostic than deal with all this bullshit. Ha. Agnostic. My grandparents would love that. So would my aunt. So nice to have come from a family of right-wing, über-conservative religious hippies. Close-minded hippies. At least the real hippies from the 70's were open to everything.

But I don't care. I don't care anymore. Organized religion is only draining the life out of me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm desperately clinging to this shit only because I'm afraid of hell.

But if heaven is full of these organized righteous hippies... then it isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I believe in God. But not in his people. His people are insane.

And you wanna hear God talk? I believe that I hear him speak whenever I'm lying in an open field, staring up at the vast, starry sky. When the wind blows in my face, when I can smell the clean, crisp air, when the grass around me starts moving... yes. I hear Him then.

Too bad you guys are too busy hearing yourself talk to even hear His voice.