An Emo Bulletin

September 27, 2007
Mood: **unknown**

I want to do a lot of stuff. I want to search for my favorite things on google, I want to talk to a certain someone...

But I don't want to be hurt anymore.

The ice is melting, and the danger of sudden defrosting is becoming all too real. It scares me.

Had I tears to shed, I would cry. But sadly, I can't.

I must be a masochist. It's the only explanation; the only reason why I keep on walking the same path over and over again even though it ends in the same sad story every single time. I never learn. I hope that one day I will.

And I who thought that things have changed. But I guess you can never ever be quit of the darkness eh? It lingers... hanging over you like a wispy net... No matter how fast you run, it's still there. No matter how long you stay in the sun, it's still there. That, or maybe I'm just a really negative person.

Right now there is a look of utter exasperation on my face. It is coupled with sadness, resignation, and some other thing I can't place. Indifference? Perhaps.

Oh, how I love writing in cryptic messages.

Now it's even worse than before. Before, I only wanted one option. Now I still want that option, but at the same time I fear it. Trapped between two worlds, sweet.

Remind me why I walk this path again?

I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't think I can take it.

When will the darkness go away? But then again, where one exists, so must the other. Balance. Right.

I need to stop before I hurt myself again...

Things That Make Me Go Weak In The Knees

September 12, 2007
Mood: *annual flu bug*

I have a cold, and I feel like hell. Therefore, I am going to make a random post, and you shall have no option but to read it.

This list refers to guys, btw. *sniff*


5 things that make me go weak in the knees;

1. Green eyes

Yes. Green eyes. Bright emerald green eyes. One time, I was in class, and this guy sat next to me. I asked him something, and made the mistake of looking at his face (or his eyes, rather). I tell ya, if I hadn't been sitting down, my bum would've hit the floor. Hard.

And if the eyes are like, intense, expressive eyes... oh, dear God...

2. Guitar

Rockstars. Need I say more?

Of course I do.

I love the guitar. I do, I really do. I can't play it, so my jaw really drops when someone plays it as though it was an extension of their own body (that may have sounded wrong, but honestly, I don't care). I especially love the electric guitar. I could just drown in the sound... the wail... the screech.

So yeah. Show me some shredding skills, and you'll soon be picking me up from the floor.

3. British accent

Ahh... yes. The divine accent. I dare you contradict me on this one. Technically, it is actually an English accent, but screw that. You know what I'm talking about anyways.

4. Red hair or spiky jet-black hair

Red hair + green eyes = deadly combination for me. Siriusly. Hotness.

Or the spiky jet-black hair. Coupled with pasty skin... *swoons* And skinny-ness, of course. Goth look, nam-nam!!

5. ........that...

Happy trails.




Aaaaaaand we're done.

Ramblings Of A Neurotic Teen

September 10, 2007
Mood: *flickering between extremes*

*le sigh*

Have you ever had one of those days... not even days; moments... where you just suddenly become devoid of all emotion. Like, zilch. No feelings. None at all. Zip.

There was a point in my life when I was grateful for that... but I'm not so sure now.

Like, how would you react if you're just sitting there... and suddenly, you realize that you have lost all traces of feelings for your beloved. It's weird; scary; insane. You feel like it was just a dream, and waking hour suddenly arrived.

*le sigh*

Breaking away for a moment...

why is it that we often do stupid things in front of people we don't want to do stupid things in front of?

Er, perhaps I should rephrase that.

It's just insane, that when we desperately do not want to screw up in front of someone we like... well, we do screw up.

Law of attraction. Right. I get it.

But still... it's weird. And extremely unfair. And uncomfortable. And awkward.

Sometimes even when you try to reassure yourself over and over again that it's fine... well, it's not.

Sometimes it just makes you want to hide yourself for ten years...

Screw this. It'll be alright... right?

My emotions are back now. And I'm not really sure if I want them back.

Oooohh... maybe I just go into some 'instant numb mode' when I do something stupid... or when I think I do something stupid. Like a self-preservation thing, ya know?

I kinda like this.

First Random Rant... or is it?

September 6, 2007
Mood: *tired and sleepy*

I really should be doing my homework right now. But I don't want to.

I basically have to write a satire article on whether or not I believe in Angels or something like that. Well, if it was in English, I probably would've been done by now. But no. It's in Norwegian. Oh, curses.

But maybe the creative juices will start to flow once I'm done with this blog post.

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We had a hiking trip the other day.

It was nice. The forest, as it turns out, was truly meant for class trips and stuff. The boy scouts use it for their training too.

The tour went well... until the last few moments.

Wasn't that bad. It was just the simple fact that our teacher had no idea where we were.

Seriously, he had to call on the boy scouts to help him read the map. We walked for over an hour before we found our way out of the bloody woods.

My shoes hate me now.

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I hate fighting with people over the internet.

I just hate it. Cause no matter how intelligent your responses are, it never gets through to them.

I especially hate it cause I can't resort to slapping, no matter how bad the argument gets.

Ah well...

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Still not working. I think I need coffee. I can't even think right now. How am I supposed to do my assignment?!

Are You Sure?

September 5, 2007
Mood: *all smiles*

Before you proceed, I ask again.

Are you sure?

The story is disgusting, stomach-churning, nausea-inducing... And above all, it sucks like hell.

Still wanna read it?

Whatever. Your call.

Sounds of Madness

By the time you're done reading, the men in white coats would have already picked me up.

Cheerio!!