Right. I feel like I have to do an obligatory end-of-the-year post. And it's possible that there won't be many of these to come, seeing as the world is set to end on 2012.
I read somewhere once that if you want something done, give the job to a busy person. I am inclined to agree. I'm writing this with a 25 minute deadline. I have a bus to catch.
Sooo, 2010. What have I got to say about you?
Well, to be quite frank, 2010... you were rather shite.
You started off on a high note. I spent your welcome feast surrounded by good friends and music and a certain liquid that in excessive amounts might cause damage to one's liver. It was grand.
Then I started getting my fair share of disappointments; nothing new there. And then you gave me a large dose of drama which unleashed a whole slew of changes. I didn't mind; I was glad for the change.
And then school ended. Among other things, I learned that I possess cajones that most people would give their right arms for. Cheers to ballsiness!
Summer rolled in, and admittedly it was one of the finest summers I've had in a good while. Once again surrounded by good friends and music and that liquid that in excessive amounts might off your liver. Once again, things were grand.
And then a whole new drama began.
To be really honest though, I don't mind. I still don't mind. Everything that has happened has provided me with a lot of good material that I might use in a book one day. I'm a storyteller by nature, so I'm happy to have something to share for the next night round the fireplace.
Sure, my heart was broken twice this year. It hadn't even had time to recover from the first one before I bravely marched on to the second (mis)adventure. I don't regret any of it. Never has the words of Nietzsche rang truer for me than this year;
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
But of course, Nietzsche never had half his body chewed off by a shark. But I digress...
While we're talking about words that rang true - an old latin saying proved true for me as well;
Quod me nutrit me destruit
I love to think. I advocate thinking before acting on things. But damn it if thinking won't drain the life out of you.
So yeah. Heart broken. I'm fine with that. Like I said, at least I've got a couple of stories out of it.
But...
The one thing I cannot seem to let go of... the one thing that's making it extremely hard for me to let go...
This year, I experienced the bitter taste of disillusionment.
I'm not that naive. I've known for a long time now that things are never the way they seem, that people will let you down, that disappointments will come no matter what. The world is not a bad place, no. But it's not a completely good place either. People die, people kill, people walk out on other people, and Mother Nature will occasionally produce things to fuck everyone over. Like the platypus.
But knowing is different from experiencing something again and again. Knowing that there is a well over there and that it contains water is different from being bound and dunk head first down said well and its water.
Disillusionment is an ugly thing. It's an awful feeling, finding out that the flaws you accepted in a person were all real and true, while the good qualities that you embraced and used to cover up the flaws were all lies.
Some people don't know where the fuck they're going, what they're doing or why.
Maybe it's not your fault, 2010. Maybe you just had the miserable luck to have all these things happen on your watch.
I learned a whole lot of things from you, 2010. But I won't be sad to see you go.
Now I have to go, my bus will be here soon.
