Oh, My Poor Heart

*insert choir of angels singing Handel's Hallelujah Chorus*

People of the world...

I. Have. Red Bull!


*switch soundtrack to Beethoven's Symphony No. 9, 4th movement (Ode to Joy)*

I regularly sing praises to caffeine, but I predict that this will take everything to a whole new level.

Oh and yes, I got a haircut. Which I butchered again after leaving the hairdresser.

Nothing dangerous! I just hacked at it... with scissors. *cough*

Imma start drinking this heaven-sent concoction next week. I'm so excited!!! xD

Red Bull gives you wiings!

Gandhi Was A Keen Observer

Just popped back in real quick to post this.



Truthiness, innit?

THE CAKE IS A LIE

As I've probably mentioned in my post yesterday, my mind was in a weird mood. So in addition to the random ramblings about fish and what-not, I also drew a picture.

This was inspired by Eddie Izzard's Cake or Death sketch. I mean sure; if asked the question "Cake or death?", everyone would surely choose cake. Or nearly everyone... we've got some crazies in the world.

But all that aside, what if the cake was slightly... different?


I couldn't show this to my mother. She'd call a therapist for sure. >_<

PS: I am very, very pleased at how the blood spatters turned out...

PPS: Oh come on, don't lie. You definitely saw that title coming.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
- Stephen Wright

No, I Am Not Drunk, This is My Natural State of Being

Sometimes when I'm in the mood... Crazy things happen.

Behold:

[22:43:05] The_Crazy_Authoress says: Koalas are so adorable
[22:43:14] The_Crazy_Authoress says: but they can kill you if they so wish
[22:43:26] Lynx says: erm
[22:43:29] Lynx says: okay?
[22:43:31] The_Crazy_Authoress says: why? why would adorable beings possess the ability to kill like that?
[22:43:39] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and baby leopards
[22:43:41] The_Crazy_Authoress says: they're so cute
[22:43:54] The_Crazy_Authoress says: but they can kill too
[22:43:58] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and the platypus!
[22:44:03] The_Crazy_Authoress says: by god, the platypus
[22:44:17] Lynx says: :D
[22:44:18] The_Crazy_Authoress says: it's like Mother Nature had one too many bourbons that day
[22:44:26] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and made something out of the spare parts in the garage
[22:44:34] The_Crazy_Authoress says: "hehe this is made out of spare parts, but it can still kill you!!"
[22:44:54] The_Crazy_Authoress says: pan over to something truly ferocious; the tyrannosaurus rex
[22:44:59] The_Crazy_Authoress says: oh wait? herbivore? got it.
[22:45:15] The_Crazy_Authoress says: it's just so messed up
[22:45:24] The_Crazy_Authoress says: /end random rant
[22:46:24] Lynx says: You amuse me.
[22:47:45] The_Crazy_Authoress says: thank you xD
[22:47:54] The_Crazy_Authoress says: I've been weird all day today
[22:48:20] The_Crazy_Authoress says: I suspect it's Eddie Izzard
[22:49:52] The_Crazy_Authoress says: imagine you were a fish
[22:50:04] Lynx says: okay.
[22:50:08] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and you've successfuly adapted to both wet and dry seasons
[22:50:18] The_Crazy_Authoress says: when it's wet, you swim normally, when it's dry, you can walk on land
[22:50:26] Lynx says: okay.
[22:50:27] The_Crazy_Authoress says: so you think, you're doing pretty well
[22:51:10] The_Crazy_Authoress says: one day you're swimming along as usual, then there comes a random electric shock and you pass out
[22:51:27] The_Crazy_Authoress says: then when you wake up, there's a thing poking out of your back that you can't remove, and it hurts when you try to get it out
[22:51:37] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and there's a large gash on your belly with a wire poking out of it
[22:51:44] Ashley Scripter says: I think maybe I should go back and figure out how this conversation started before I try to understand it from here
[22:51:46] The_Crazy_Authoress says: on a scale of 1-10, how violated would you feel?
[22:51:52] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and yes, that would be a good idea
[22:52:15] Lynx says: Wait what.
[22:52:27] Lynx says: I was following you until the gash on the belly
[22:53:09] The_Crazy_Authoress says: well, if you were that fish, how violated would you feel?
[22:53:37] Lynx says: 10.
But explain?
[22:53:44] The_Crazy_Authoress says: I'm watching a documentary on snakeheads
[22:53:52] The_Crazy_Authoress says: or "fishzilla", as the narrator insists
[22:54:25] The_Crazy_Authoress says: this could be the story behind all those alleged alien abductions, you know
[22:54:51] The_Crazy_Authoress says: maybe us humans are just a part of some huge celestial pond or something
[22:55:12] Lynx says: oooh don't get philosophical on me
[22:55:12] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and they capture some of us in order to tag us and monitor how our kind is progressing
[22:55:25] The_Crazy_Authoress says: don't derail my thought process now xD
[22:55:50] The_Crazy_Authoress says: maybe the fish are met with the same kind of skepticism underwater
[22:55:58] Lynx says: Alright, but don't think I'm going to encourage it, either
[22:56:02] The_Crazy_Authoress says: "No, I swear it's true!! Some giant cut me open and put this thing on me!!"
[22:56:13] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and the other fish are like "noooo you lie. you're crazy man! that's crazy talk!"
[22:56:24] The_Crazy_Authoress says: but of course the fish isn't lying
[22:56:37] The_Crazy_Authoress says: he has however, totally misinterpreted the motives behind the tagging
[22:56:53] The_Crazy_Authoress says: think there's some kind of doomsday organization among fishes?
[22:57:21] The_Crazy_Authoress says: or maybe some fishes regularly swim near riverbanks, holding signs "Welcome humans"
[22:57:26] The_Crazy_Authoress says: and then they get caught
[22:57:59] Lynx says: :P
[22:58:02] The_Crazy_Authoress says: hehe fish press conferences, the fish president giving another impassionate speech in the fish white house
[22:58:38] The_Crazy_Authoress says: I honestly don't know what's up with my head today
[22:58:47] The_Crazy_Authoress says: I do know that i'm posting this in my blog
[22:59:17] Lynx says: :D

I would've gone on forever, but hey. xD

Skype can only contain so much craziness...

Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively.
- Voltaire

The Sign Returns With A Grue

My finger is now well.

Still hurts a bit when I bend it, but I guess that's to be expected. Just to be on the safe side, I've fashioned a sort of support ring so it won't bend further than it should...

However, the main point is that I can finally flash the universal sign once more!



More pics! With a bonus Grue-plushie!!



And that's basically it. Tis my winter break. I plan on reading, and possibly reorganizing my room. No promises on that last one though.

I dreamed of something good last night. Or at least, someone good.

I'd write more, but there really is nothing substantial to write at the moment. My mind is delightfully relaxed, and I want to keep it that way.

So toodles, people. I'm off to watch The Daily Show.

The most painful state of being is remembering the future, especially one which you know will never come.
- Søren Kierkegaard

Mock The Authoress

Yesterday, I watched this year's BAFTA.

Fun. Me mum and I played the "identify the celebs" game. I think I won.

So yeah... It was loads of fun. Until Jonathan Ross came back to introduce someone...

Really, I think the "rock and roll star" bit should've tipped me off at once.

Mick Jagger walked onstage. I screamed.

WHY does fate mock me so??

I've been trying to avoid him and his band for AGES now. But the whole world seems to have conspired against me. Rolling Stones songs thrown at me everytime I press Shuffle on me iPod, Rolling Stones references on House, on The Daily Show, on Mythbusters - EVERYWHERE!

Why am I trying to avoid them? Well, I love them. Love them to pieces. But lately, listening to them has lead to a sensation of being stabbed. In the chest.

The mind reels...

Ah, yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want."
- Dr Gregory House

Unspecified Dramas, A Multitude of Pens, and Two Books

So yes. Much drama has happened.

I was going to post about the whole ordeal, but once again, rationality kicked in and I've decided that no, that wouldn't be such a good idea.

Damn rationality. I'm feeling quite normal today. I'm glad.

Yesterday I bought a new pencil case. Twas only then that I realized just how many pens I owned...

Behold:


So yeah! Fun!

I know I should be writing my lab report about that dissection we had... but feck it. I can do that later.

A: My new pencil case!! Yay!
B: A fancy sign pen. Tis separated from its brothers because I had to "fix" the ink...
C: Correction fluid. A must-have for every student.
D: My old skull&bones pen case. I had to replace it because it now has a hole on its side D:
E: PEEENS!! And pencils. (Btw, that grey thing at the very end, right next to the old pen case, tis a compass)
F: Letter opener. Also handy for cutting loose threads on clothes. xD
G: My school laptop. Tis much abused.
H: My old mp3-player that's been converted to a USB storage device.
I: Pencil sharpener
J: Eraser
K: Pencil leads, for my mechanical pencils.
L: An origami crane. From the time we were watching a movie in class... I got bored. I made an entire crane family. Most of it can be seen inside my old pencil case (see figure D)
M: Them post-it bookmarks.
N: My foot! In a boot! xD
O: Highlighters, again a must-have for students.
P: Ruler
Q: Cheap, broken, inkless pens. And yet I have no intention of chucking them out. Why? Cause they were broken on two separate (special) days. Hint: It involves glasses.

And because I'm weird/ wasteful, I bought another set of pens today. In my defense - it's because the majority of the pens over there are "special occasion" pens; calligraphic pens, colored pens, design, etc etc.

Here's a few of the books I have on my desk. I figure the juxtaposition of two specific books is kind of interesting. I'm letting them duke it out, you see. So far my desk hasn't exploded yet. But you never know.



Today I cleaned my room. Finally. Maybe that's why I feel a bit better.

Or maybe it has to do with me listening to Eddie Izzard the whole bloody day.

I have some musings about life that I should post here. But it doesn't really fit in here, so I'll save it for another day.

Besides, my cat is ambushing me at the moment. She's behind me now. And now she's stepping on my shoulders. Holy hell...

Ah well. I should go and write that report now.

Here's to Mr Kennedy. Now I know why the embodiment of goodness and light idolizes you so.

Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names.
- John F. Kennedy

Feck it. I give up.

It's either that or murder. And some things aren't worth going to jail for.

Synch Yer Watches

Muscle pain, ftw. -__-

95 minutes. Synch your watches.

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov

Pains and Sticks

My whole body hurts.

Well, not really. The majority of it, then.

But that's cool. Firstly, it means that me training has had an effect. And secondly, the pain will serve to distract me from other things.

So yes.

During one of the short breaks we had today, a thought struck me. As of now there's a HUGE drama going on, and I'm one of the main players. Why then am I not posting about it here?

So right then and there, I decided that I would dish out/ spill the beans/ let the cat out of the bag. Yes I shall. The moment I go online.

But of course, I wasn't really thinking properly then. You try and think properly when you're soaked in your own sweat, seeing stars, surrounded by black belters following orders from an 8th degree black belt master. Call me then.

Anyway, when I got home, my mind finally recovered, and I rethought the whole thing. I deeply apologize, dear reader(s?), but you won't be hearing (or reading) anything specific about this drama. Not until it blows over, that is. Cause then I'd be free to transcript the whole thing.

My advice: Just wait a while.

I am sorely tempted to just give up and stop caring about this drama. Why would I invest so much in something that will most likely have no bearing whatsoever in my future career? But I guess it's good that I do care. Because it's a slippery slope from not caring about *this*, to not caring about anything at all!

For me, at least.

I already have issues with "dissociation", so why am I giving myself shite for being passionate about something?

We'll probably never know. Not now. Perhaps later.

Tomorrow I march into the battlefield again. I'll probably speak softly, but I'll also be carrying an M16.

So fuck you, Kumajanai.

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Fireworks Go Boom

The first firework has just shot up towards the night sky, filling the darkness with bright neon colors.

It fills me with indescribable glee!

More updates later.

Beware: "In revenge and in love woman is more barbarous than man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

[UPDATE: New development:

While the fireworks are exploding...

Impending action. A showdown before the final battle? It seems I may be forced to adapt a different style of combat. I'm used to planting traps and the likes - hitting people when they least expect it. I don't usually fight directly...

But ahh... Times change, people must change as well. It's time for me to stand my ground.

Again, more updates later.]

[UPDATE: Newer development:

It seems this game will go on for a little bit longer.

But that's fine. Meanwhile, I'll just keep the champagne in the fridge.

Is third time really the charm?]

[UPDATE: Ramblings:

I may have to convert some of the fireworks into firearms.

Whatever. I have my mother's blessing to continue fighting.

My sun told me to wait. But my sun didn't explicitly tell me to stop either.]

Fireworks

Today be fireworks.

I shall update later.

There is happiness for those who accept their fate.
There is GLORY for those who resist their fate.
- Edel

[UPDATE:

The fuse has been lit. People applauded and cheered.

Now to sit back and wait.]

IRC Commands Don't Work But Feck

/me is scheming.

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Why Does Jack Get All The Fun?

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my subject, prepare to die.

Psychos snap. You shouldn't play games with them.