Anticipation

Someone once called me an optimist. I promptly laughed at that person's face. No, not really. I said nothing. I was too surprised, because I considered myself the exact opposite.

But now I know that I am neither an optimist or a pessimist. I am a REALIST. Although at times I prefer to lean towards the positive, as thinking positive thoughts attracts positive experiences.

Having said that...

Right at this moment, I am being very, VERY negative.

The impending doom I've been dreading... the inevitable transition... it may happen tomorrow. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in the air.

And it makes me want to cry.

I'm considering, for the first time ever... truly considering doing things that I may go to jail for.

But first, I want to cry.

I hope to the highest heavens that I'm dead wrong about this. I really do.

I'll update tomorrow. And if I come back here bawling, then it's happened.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson