Who's Back?

It's back.

Just in time for the holiday I hate the most.

For love is no part of the dream-world. Love belongs to desire, and desire is always cruel.

- SANDMAN #9: "Tales in the Sand"

Like Eggs Being Beaten

Yes, it's been a while, I know.

There have been a lot of things going on, but I just haven't got the energy to update. Well actually I do. If I didn't have any energy left I'd be lying in bed instead of sitting here boring the life out of me. It's just that… as my rambling would suggest, my thoughts haven't been in order lately. And I'm just not used to that.

Well… I am. My thoughts have never been in proper order anyway, but there used to be at least a certain logic/order to the usual chaos. But now… thoughts are meshed together. I can't even tell where one ends or where the other begins. I worry about my future – nitpicking details about events that still lie out of reach… I run from past ghosts which, for some reason, chose to unearth themselves right at this moment. I cling to the present - a feeble attempt to hold on to my sanity. (That may perhaps be a bit too extreme… But I am actively trying to focus only on the present. It's like balancing on the edge of a knife, either way I fall—where have I heard that line before? Was it Doctor Who?)

The point is, I want to stop thinking… about things that have yet to come, and about things that have already come to pass. I can't change the past, so why fret about it?

As Master Oogway said, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery – but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present."

Gotta love Master Oogway.

PS: Because of excessive Torchwood, my mind's voice is now Welsh. So this entire blog post was read to me in that beautiful sing-song accent. It's just sad that whenever I try to speak with such an accent out loud, it sounds like the bastard child of Scottish and Irish (with a touch of Jamaican). Ah well. Whatever.

My thoughts seemed to have regained some kind of order now. That's good.

Posted from Word07

[EDIT: I checked, and the quote about the knife is actually from LoTR. Lady Galadriel said; "The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail. But hope remains, if friends stay true."]

In Which The Authoress Experiments With Word07

One can supposedly blog from Word07, but let's see.

First things first – I am bored. Bored out of my fecking mind. And I have a cold!! So suffice to say, I cannot think properly right now.

Is it possible to die of boredom? Or at least be in a boredom-induced coma. I would be so bloody thankful if that were possible.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. I feel as though my thoughts have been chucked in to a blender to make a thought omelette. Nothing makes sense, but strangely enough everything does – if you find the right angle.

I should go…

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

• Albert Schweitzer
  

No Pictures, Just Travel

Oh dear.

I've been meaning to update earlier... but life has a way of, well... happening.

They say it's better to be a traveler and not a tourist, because tourists are too busy taking pictures/ videos to actually enjoy themselves. It's true. Dylan Moran said something to that effect - one isn't actually there, cause one becomes too busy taking pictures of everyone having a good time.

Anyway, the reason for that extremely convoluted and shallowly philosophical paragraph is that... As of now, I'm not taking pictures. I'm not filming anything. I'm just being a traveler; backpacking along the unexplored paths of my life. There are many trails, and I have absolutely no idea where any of them lead - signs can be misleading and everything is prone to change. But I wouldn't know for sure until I walk.

I won't use up all my time taking pictures. I'm just going to walk.

I've been walking the sci-fi path lately, and it is such a marvelous experience! I'm more of a geek now than when I first turned this route - I am now able to nod sagely and actually understand the complexities of that wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff. Well - some of it.

In between my last post and this one I watched the season finale of Doctor Who. The first part sent chills down my spine. The second part... well... I bawled my eyes out, as expected. It took a while to get over it, but I'm coming to terms with it now. Tennant is too talented to stay in one show, and at least now he can attend conventions... where fangirls can glomp him to within an inch of his life.

But it's fine now. I'm fine now. Torchwood has come to my aid. I seem to be developing a thing for Capt Jack Harkness, which isn't healthy... quite worrying, actually.

I listed in my new year's resolutions that I will stop reading YouTube comments. Sadly, I broke that rule not long after January 1st, thanks to John Barrowman and his partner Scott Gill. They were so ridiculously cute that I lost my mind and scrolled down to see what other people had to say about them. The good news is that a vast majority of people are normal, fully functioning human beings with actual emotions and common sense. The sad news is that trolls will always speak louder, and that no matter how hard you wish it is still impossible to manually reach out and strangle a person over the internet.

Someday, though... one beautiful day in the future...

Being is the great explainer.

- Henry David Thoreau

An Extremely Long Update

Time flies, does it not? Time only loiters when you're doing something you don't like - math class, for instance.

Again, it's been a while since I last updated. Life has a way of suddenly presenting itself and hijacking all your free time. And of course Time, being a slut, always walks off with anything that comes along. Did that make sense? Of course not.

What has happened since my last post? Well...

University applications were sent to my five choices. Curiously, only one uni is in England - the rest are in Scotland. Coincidence? Maybe.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm falling more and more in love with scottish actor David Tennant. I'm really sad about his departure from Doctor Who... but on the bright side, he can go to Doctor Who conventions now! (where he will most likely be glomped and groped by rabid fangirls. My advantage is that I know karate. TRY AND TOUCH HIM NOW!!!!!)

So adorable it'll make your head explode.

I had my long awaited Philosophy exam. Standing there was the reason why I quit in the first place, proving once again that Fate and the Universe both have a delicious sense of irony, and are total bastards. Whatever - I got an A.

The day after said exam, I had a Biology test. I learned from said test that our Biology teacher is an evil sadist.
Several days of hardcore reviewing = a very tired authoress. Hopefully, that explains why I couldn't be arsed to update.

Something lovely happened on Dec 18. I had too much coffee that day, and was on the final stage of caffeine consumption (i.e. The Crash). It was Philosophy class, and we were supposed to watch a movie - Dracula with Keanu Reeves and his horrendous faux English accent. My favorite teacher says he'll go get some coffee, my friend and I jokingly tell him to get some for us as well. And what do you know - he did! He came back with 3 cups of coffee! And that is why the students absolutely love that teacher.

I've started watching Torchwood. Fantastic show! Russell T. Davies is, without a doubt, one of the greatest writers of his generation! (Yeah, yeah I know - he doesn't write every episode. But he created the show!)
In other news, I'm also loving John Barrowman more and more - but in a platonic sense. I just think he's adorable; a fabulous ray of sunshine, and he's doubly cute when with his partner Scott Gill. Seriously, more power to them.

Then the 21st came, and I watched Eddie Izzard's show!! Live! That man is a comedic genius! Topics included god being a drug addict, Jesus having tons of siblings (Asus, Bsus, Csus...), ninja sheep, giraffe sign language and so on. I nearly died laughing.

Yeah, yeah - no cameras allowed. But you know what? Bite me.

I got tons of books this christmas. It reminded me of a quote from Albus Dumbledore himself.

"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a pair. People will insist on giving me books."

Admittedly, I did request those books... but damn. I still want socks. (I did get some though!)

The story I was working on didn't win the competition this year. I was a bit disappointed, cause I thought it to be a quaint and original story. But I'm feeling better about it now, mainly because I started reading Neil Gaiman's 'Fragile Things', and in the intro he wrote;

"Sometimes you just show stories to the wrong people, and nobody's going to like everything."

My plan to lose myself in the Gaiman universe still hasn't happened... but it will happen soon. One of these days.

BTW, a very belated Happy Christmas to Pope Benedict XVI and the lady in red. Thank you for making my holiday season.

My holiday season wasn't that grand. Mostly because I couldn't choose who I spent it with. To make matters worse - I got a cold (with fever as its companion). However, the Universe tried to comfort me by giving me dreams about David Tennant. It worked. The cold lasted only 5 days, but I considered trying to prolong it, if only to make the dreams last longer.

I watched 'The End of Time: Part 1', or in layman's terms - David Tennant's penultimate episode as The Doctor. Holy everything, that was an EPIC episode. It was like Shakespeare wrote LoTR, Star Wars, Star Trek, X-Men and The Matrix, with a bit of Harry Potter on the side. I'm anxiously looking forward to Part 2, but I do hope they explain everything properly.

BTW, just wondering; why does so much shite happen during Christmas in the Doctor Who universe?

Anyway, so 2009 is coming to an end. To be completely honest, it was quite a depressing year. Prominent deaths left, right, and center (although I didn't really care much), wars, bloodshed, natural disasters and financial crises... I hope 2010 will be a much better year.

My New Year's Resolutions (more will be added later)

• I will stop reading YouTube comments (or comments on any other website, really) so as to preserve my already dwindling faith on humanity.
• I will stop using the word 'gay' to describe something I do not like. I'll start using other adjectives, such as 'lame' or 'rubbish'.

I leave you now with this quote from 'The End of Time':

Oh my lord... She's a cactus!
- Wilf

Happy New Year, everyone!